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An Introduction

Posted by casey on May 23, 2015 in Uncategorized

An Introduction is in Order

On May 11th, 2015 at 1:58 PM
All 9 lbs 2 ounces and 21 inches of our third baby boy was born.

Introducing, Archer Perry Kazmann

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This little chunk has snuggled his way right into all of our hearts making himself right at home as the newest light of our lives the moment he was born.

 
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To My First

Posted by casey on May 10, 2015 in Caden's Chronicles

JBirthday 001ust a little over five years ago, this studmuffin blessed us with his presence after thirty and a half hours of labor to make me a mother and to really give us the gift of what a family is.

As we prepare to welcome his youngest of brothers I swell with emotion seeing how much he has grown and how much we have as parents with him.

There have been many stages and many changes as he has gone from new babe to boy, but among the constants his gentle heart stands out as an unwavering characteristic about him.

He is a gentle, sweet soul and no matter how the sillies, or opinions take over his sensitive spirit stays true.  This proves to be challenging at times when his feelings get SO hurt over what we would like to call “nothing” or he flares on the dramatic side in whimpering about any number of things, but the heart of it is he just seems to “really feel” things. I value this in him because he really does have a knack for feeling what you feel…except when I am frustrated with him for not listening and he thinks he is hilarious. That…that gets him in trouble.

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Lately, I keep wondering what Everett is going to be like at five years old because photo 4Caden is SO silly. So silly.  Sometimes to a fault.  Which seems wrong to even say because after all he is five and five year olds should be allowed to be silly but I am also a firm believer in a time and a place for everything which sums up the boundaries we are working on in the sillies department.  That is why I get curious about Everett, to see if it all is a “five” thing, or a Caden thing.

Among the sillies, which are usually surrounding some out of this world scenario that he is telling and reinacting are the noises.  He is full of noises of every kind DSC_0488_edited-1imaginable which I am sure was passed on from my genes…namely my brother. I dread the day when he learns how to whistle because my brother had about 47 different whistles that he did C.O.N.S.T.A.N.T.L.Y .  Impressive yes, but also deafening and mind numbing.

So when Caden is motorboating his lips together to fly his magic machine that his mind has going or beeping and chattering I say a little prayer to my mom and her patience because man…her adult brain must have needed some silence.

And yet, I know that all too soon those noises will be gone and I will be wishing them back. Right?  But that is how it is going already in other areas. At the ripe old age of five Caden is already content to play upstairs with Everett for hours without me interrupting or checking in or including myself.  Yup. It happened.  He Bluebonnets 007stopped needing me all the time.  That very thing that you wait for when they need you for every.single.thing at every.single.moment and yet it happened and I was lonely.  My babies!  Though there was humor, because Caden is very much his Dad’s mind and instead of saying “Go away,” or something equally as harsh and direct in a negative sense, he said “Mommy, you can go downstairs and enjoy your time if you would like.”  And just like that, my five year old manipulated me. Bam.

Caden is full of fun facts and rarely stops talking long enough for you to respond to the fact or question he is asking or story he is telling.  Constant information overload which I am grateful for because he is a sharer.  I get to hear about his day at school and the details of what he liked doing.  I get to hear about his friends and what he likes playing with them and why and in turn he has already learned the give and take of conversation and then asking me about my day and such.  He is very grown up in his thought process and logic, always working to make sense of exactly what you are telling him and how it fits into his world.  I most commonly hear “Oh Mommy, I get it now!” minutes after a DSC_0166_edited-1conversation has ended as he was been sitting there putting the pieces together himself of what was just explained.

He loves to read and practice his reading.  His imaginative mind translates into creative drawings, pictures and notes which he really enjoys creating at the desk in his room that he requested.  Yes, requested.  You can’t deny your child a new piece of furniture when at five he politely says “Mommy, can we get a special table, like a desk for in my room so I can do my work and practice my letters?”  Ummmm, yes.  With his new love and skill for math adding to his school love there is no doubt that this one will be a scholar making us all very excited for his “real school career” to be starting in the fall.

With the gift of a piggy bank from his auntie for his birthday Caden started doing official chores so he could earn some change here and there.  We thought long and DSC_0069_edited-1hard because the boys already help us with a lot, and are expected to so to speak, so we didn’t want o take things they already do (load backpacks in the car, let the dogs in and out etc.) to then be changed to chores.  We decided to give dishes a whirl and he was in love.  So, after dinner when all the plates are gathered he gets up on his stool and scrubs away.  It is adorable.  (And at the end of my pregnancy very helpful to not be bending to put them in the dishwasher constantly etc.)  He has also added feeding the dogs their food twice a day to his repertoire and has developed his own little strategies for getting it done.  I love watching him take ownership and talking about how this is what being part of a family is, helping each other, because we

Planting flowers with Nonna

Planting flowers with Nonna

have always tried to shape them to be helpers to us in ways they can for their age. He grasped on to the concept and definitely takes after his Daddy in saving his money for “maybe a bigger toy” than what he could cash in for already.  Lessons are most certainly being learned, one nickel at a time!

With all things transformers, superheroes, robots and video games still very close to his heart he hasn’t changed much in his interests.  I happen to think golf and baseball currently fit his skill set best, but he has been loving this soccer season aka “herd ball” and has picked up some new moves thanks to backyard practices with Daddy.  He has even gotten a little more aggressive and willing to get in there with the masses which has been a nice development in his competitive spirit.  But really, there is just this, joy.

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It doesn’t get much better than seeing your child grin so truly.

And so we are blessed.

Blessed with a happy healthy boy who loves his family and friends, tests his limits and is full of all things boy, silly, weird, noisy and pretend.  He could spend all day taking care of his stuffed “friends” with his brother, playing the Lego Block Game (which has a strict weekend only rule because of his love) and making cards for Mommy to specifically put in envelopes.  He has yet to stop striving for positive attention from the adults in his life though his listening skills have been running on a third to fifth time he hears it reaction time. Ugh.  He is busy and bouncy and loves testing his strength at our neighborhood parks or during chase and wrestle matches with Daddy.  His once dominant shyness is almost never seen as he takes to and tries to include almost anyone he sees in what he is playing and even excitedly attended his first sleepover just this past month.

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Our firstborn is about to become the Biggest Brother in the house and in his opinion he is ready.  Ready to help. Ready to love. Ready to teach.

We are just sitting here ready to watch him take on and adapt to yet another new role in his little life.

 
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Comfy, Cozy

Posted by casey on May 8, 2015 in Baby Kaz III

Dearest Baby Boy,

You do not seem to know it, or particularly care as you are quite comfy cozy gaining as much chub as you can, but it is time.  Time to really join our family and as tough Bluebonnets 028as it may be, join the real world.  The first lesson of life with us – the real world.  Okay, maybe the first lesson is love…and snuggles…and attention…see, all nice things…you can come out now.

It is quite amazing that I have had contractions for a solid four months now, for four months they have been watching you and keeping you content so that you wouldn’t come too early and could grow and be strong and now it seems as though you have decided that is the better option.  So, you have tossed those four months of contractions to the side as far as purpose goes, they were just for fun for mommy (thank you so much dear) and are nestled in safe and secure in what you know.

I can relate to that sweet boy. I am not one who easily embraces big changes.  I have

Piggly Wigglies

Piggly Wigglies

to think it over and accept and adjust so that it feels more comfortable to me.  Maybe we should work on this together.  Here I am, excited and accepting that our life is about to flip flip and change forever for the better with your arrival that we have been waiting for.  And here are you…deciding that maybe all that yelling and discipline and shuffling and protecting you hear going on won’t be so bad and that you would rather me hold you in my arms than my belly.  Just keep saying it to yourself son, I promise it will sound better the more you hear it.

While my doctors always watch me very closely, this pregnancy with you has been watched even more.  With the blood thinners we get a peek at you each and every week, which truthfully, feels excessive even to me and I don’t think you like it much.  But, we get to peek and make sure you are growing (and boy are you) and that all of your

38 Weeks

38 Weeks

current nutrition sources are in working order.  Despite my losing a pound each of the past few weeks you are still steadily packing it on, even causing the sonographers to giggle at your “fat pad” around your belly, chubby, chubby cheeks and yes, belly rolls on your ribs.  We are looking forward to getting a real look at you to see if those ultra pouty lips and button nose match up to preview image thus far that have also been true for your brothers.

One difference, is that while your brothers always had hands and arms up by their face or behind their heads as most babies do, you tend to always have one in your mouth.  I predict swaddle challenges.  In your mouth, sucking on one hand, smacking your lips around, sticking out your tongue, something is always working away in that department it seems.

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I do officially feel as though you are out of room.  Fresh, out.  I think you agree

39 Weeks

39 Weeks

because your movements have really slowed down and are more rolls and pushing and pressure than sporadic fits of punching and kicking.  My belly is sore…sore from your movements, sore from stretching and sore from all the shifting.  Last night I told Daddy that I kept feeling like my shirt was too tight (and lets be honest, everything is) and that I needed to keep trying to move my belly a little so it didn’t pull so much when laying down.  Turns out, it wasn’t the shirt…it was just the tightness of your baby belly.  So yes, uncomfortable is an accurate adjective which it always is at this point but somehow we still block out the details.

In the meantime, while we wait, we have checked off just about every single task we can tIMG_5900hink of to do before you come.  I keep saying “Okay, NOW I took care of that (dogs groomed, boys haircuts, one millionth laundry, cleaned out car, mailed thank you notes, wrote this very post…) so now you can come.”  Apparently there is some big project you expect to be finished first that we just have not gotten the memo on.  Can I have a clue?

Thanks to generous family we were able to have a few hours to go to a friend’s engagement celebration and some extra generous friends who took your brothers to their first sleepover so we could have a weekend together before you came.  Alas, that wasn’t what you were waiting for.

It’s okay though.  I got to attend both of your brothers’ Mother’s Day Teas at their school and I didn’t think I would make either of them so that was nice…now?  No.  Still Not Coming? Okay. It’s fine. Really.IMG_5934

I am in good spirits. I had a day a week or so ago where I did not think I could make it one minute longer.  Clearly you were in an unfortunate position and I spent the entire night sleeping sitting up on the couch because I couldn’t breathe and had to pant if I laid down and the nerves in my groin were spazzing out locking out my legs and my belly was too full of you to eat anything and it just wasn’t a good day.  But I sucked it up and have now been busying myself with distractions and daily enjoyments.

The rest of the world is not enjoying this stage so much, the waiting, including your furry brother

Bo is On BabyWatch

Bo is On BabyWatch

Bo.  He is on serious baby watch and I think you could “throw him a bone” (yes I did) and ease his worries by going ahead and evicting.  Up to you though.  Obviously, up to you.

He is thirteen years old though…so you might not want to wait too long. I am just saying.

Have I bribed you enough yet?

In true summary of this stage now, from connecting all of these words together for this little ditty (I sure hope I connected words and it isn’t total nonsense) my brain and body are now completely exhausted and need a nap. Like now.  Like my eyes are no longer staying open.  Yes I was sitting the whole time I did this.  Vigorous I know.

So sweetness, you are already very loved and we are in full hibernation as we wait to welcome you because all of that love is also anxiously awaiting you too.  You just let us know when, and we will be ready…anytime dear, anytime…but when you are ready…if that is today that would be okay…but if it isn’t that is fine…anytime.

 
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In the Four

Posted by casey on May 6, 2015 in Family, Life as I Know It

Looking back to 2011, I so clearly remember changing our family dynamic from three to four.  So lately, I feel as though my eyes have been zooming in on and recording every bit of our final moments together as a family of four…

waiting to be five.

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As a family of four, we have very much found our groove.  It has been three and a Bluebonnets 005half years so I suppose that should be a given, but that isn’t always the case. There are the ins and outs of keeping things “normal” while shifting and adjusting to accommodate this new little person and the new roles each person takes on.

With Everett, there was a lot of adjusting and accepting and admitting to what we could and could not do with a challenging newborn, infant and well…toddler due to all of his allergies.

Now, there is the making sure that oldest who whether he consciously remembers it or not was an only child at one point, still gets alone time and to feel like that one Bluebonnets 013and only.  Then there is that baby who is no longer the baby but now a big brother too still gets his snuggles, and bedtime love well, some baby time.  Oh yes, and then there is the prepping for the newest little one…though somehow the third time around you know that no matter what you prep and how you organize life is about to get R.E.A.L real, real quick once he arrives.

We have found our groove and our biggest preparation is preparing to be out of that groove for a little while again as we bond and nurture and love and make room for this third little love, our newest baby brother.

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We have been blessed with two very sweet boys who have settled us into being a fBluebonnets 006amily, being parents and have taught us what the real purpose of our life here is.  I think that they are as patient with us as parents as we try (and fail) to be with them.  They understand we aren’t perfect and so easily accept our apologies to them when maybe we are a little to harsh, or fall short on a promise, no matter how small.  I have been amazed at their sympathy to me as I have grown and waddled and have gotten to be a slower version of their mama.  Everett runs to pick up anything he can for me saying “Mommy, you just can’t do Bluebonnets 017that with that big ol’ belly.”  Caden will ask if I need to rest on the couch and then inform me that “You’re just so pretty when you are sleeping.”  Sweetness.  All for their mama who is not always so sweet and understanding to them.  That is what these children give me, a reflection and a reason to continue to grow and adapt and learn.

And so we get ready to do that again. All of us are so ready to meet him.  I think the boys might think he is never coming at this point, which I don’t blame them, and I wonder the same thing on occasion. But we are just ready to see who he is. What will he be?  How will he teach us to love more?  When will he understand his brothers’ love for him?  How badly they want to know him.

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All of the unknowns that you embrace and welcome as you feel their not so welcome (but contradictory grateful for) jabs to your ribs that you know you will miss even as you watch them run around.  How lucky are we?  But really.  We hope and we try and we love and we get to help shape these little people into what we think the world needs while giving them the room to become what they think the world needs.

The Balance of Parenting
And we are about to start the process all over again.

Bluebonnets 025Which means that just like that Caden and Everett will age at least five years in my eyes over the birth of their newest brother and for that, I am not ready.  I spend a little extra time snuggling Everett at bedtime, breathing in the last days of him being “my baby” and every ounce of Caden that isn’t just a helper, and the biggest brother and the “you are old enough to do…” because as I know all too well now, it just goes too fast.  These years that our sleep deprived brains beg to pass for some independence, predictability or organized chaos are gone just like that.  In the big picture of their lives as children and our roles as parents these years are so short and so small and yet so important.  And so here we are…waiting for the any moment addition to our family while breathing in and loving on every moment of our current four.  The final days of what we know as we excitedly await what is in store.

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