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Illiterate? I Think Not.

Posted by casey on February 25, 2010 in On My Nightstand

babybooksSo, I was taking a gander through the site and realized that the “On My Nightstand” page has been quite neglected.  First, I didn’t think much of it and then I had a sudden thought that despite my ability to post in other areas you just might think that I had become illiterate and could no longer read even though I am obviously still able to write. Strange, I know, but  worried that you would worry, I thought I would address the situation.  My last book review was posted in August…anyone know what was going on around then?  Well, a month before that we found out Baby Kaz was on his way.  Let me tell you, I have been reading I just didn’t think you necessarily want a review of the books I have been reading or would be interested in really any way.  Wrong as usual, here is a list of my latest titles so you feel a little more like you are in my world which I know is what you are wishing for most.

“The Happiest Baby On the Block”, “Great Expectations – What to Expect When You Are Expecting”, “Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way”, “The Sanctity of the Human Blood”, “The Breastfeeding Book of Answers”, “The Official Lamaze Guide – A Natural Process Not a Disease”, CBR – Cord Blood Banking “Boys Should Be Boys”, “How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor”, “Babyhood”, “What to Expect the First Year”….

Shall I go on?  Have you had enough?  Thank goodness.

So there you go, a book list for you.  I have read a few novels in between all of that baby/pregnancy/I’m not handicapped just pregnant mumbo jumbo, I just have to organize my thoughts enough to sit down and remember them.  I will try to get on that, but right now I make no promises.

 
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Considering Consideration

Posted by casey on February 24, 2010 in Home

Over the past few months, my brain has been pondering a less cheesy way to state this but well, it just hasn’t come up with much.

The world would be a better place if everyone treated each other as they treat pregnant women.

Yup, there you go, a beauty queen “bettering the world” statement.  I tried to avoid it, I really did and I even tried to not post about it because well, it is just so sunshine and rainbows.  rainbowAlas, I couldn’t resist because each day I watch strangers be noticeably rude to each other and then turn around and in the same breath be unbelievable considerate to me.  I know that I look like I need sympathy, especially at this point when I could easily win any waddle contest but other than that I am just as much of a stranger to them too.

It isn’t that I don’t enjoy the genuine concern for my well-being but it would really be nice if we adapted these things for anyone we see, because most things have been so simple, and so quick.  Sure, I have gotten my share of “creepy” strangers wanting to ask questions that are way too invasive or think that my stomach is no longer my personal space and therefore are free to reach in its direction but mostly it has been kindness.  Kindness in the form of holding doors for much longer than the obligatory grace period, being offered chairs everywhere and anything that limits my physical exertion since they have decided that carrying around this child is enough of a workout.  I know you read that and thought to yourself, “That happens to me too.”  You are right, in the South it does.  The gentlemen rule.  We have grown accustomed to it.  I want to see if you are shown this consideration though…

img_2149In the past 6 months…
– How many times has a new checkout lane been opened for you at the grocery or Target?
– At a busy restaurant recently, has any stranger  given you their table buzzer so you could be seated sooner because you just looked like you needed it?
– Has anyone gone out of their way to help you carry something (even a small gift bag) to your car or home because your load just looks too big, or your hands too full?
– How many people have smiled at you…a genuine smile?
– How many people have said “Hello” to you or asked you how your day was going?
– Had a stranger compliment your appearance?
– Been forced to go in front of someone in a line of any sort?
– Gone to the Apple Store and simply been given a new phone w/o having to beg them to replace the one you have with a glitch or even explain?

img_6343_edited-1I could go on and on and on but I really just wanted you to get a taste.  How difficult is it for us to say “Hello.” with a smile on our face to the person who is getting out of the car next to us at the same time?  Is it that painful to ask the person checking you out how their day was going, listen to the answer AND respond during the 5 minutes they are having to scan your items as they do for hours?  Why not let the person in front of you and just enjoy doing something nice for a few minutes?  I know we are all so busy, and just trying to get to the next thing on our list that day or mainly….get home.   Of course some of the things that have been considerately done for me are more specific to someone who is pregnant, but it is the thought.  The 10 to 30 second thought to be kind, genuine, gentle and considerate.  Yes, pregnancy brings more than its fair share of advice that wasn’t asked for, judgements of choices you are making and competitive statements instead of support but the kindness is what stands out.  Just think about it…consider being well considerate of those around you because it is unfortunate how unnerving it is in our society when someone happens to be nice to you for no apparent reason instead of cutting you off, giving you the finger, ignoring your existence all together or shutting a door in your face. 

 Considerate – Kind – Thoughtful – Genuine – Nice – Selfless

The world would be a better place if everyone treated each other as they treat pregnant women.

 
2

Pampering los Pets

Posted by casey on February 19, 2010 in Family, For Your Funny Bone, Home, Puppy Palace

Disclaimer: Let’s not get offended by the “los” in the title please.  I needed some silly in my morning and the “los pets” just sounded so much better than “the pets” AND if you are really feeling up to it you can even say the title in a silly accent.  You know you want to….go ahead, I won’t even listen.

dsc_1473_edited-1A little question for you folks.  What do you do when you feel as though you may go into labor at any second, your husband no longer allows you to call him at the office because each time he thinks it is “the call”, your doctor is shocked at how low is head is and is trying to not fuel the “your not going to make it to your due date” fire, and everyone you know starts or ends a conversation with “Okay, keep me posted, let me know if anything is happening.”?

This is what I am guessing your guesses go along with -

1.  You spend two hours cleaning out a linen closet in your bathroom in between what your husband is fully sure are spaced out contractions that you choose to ignore because they must be practice contractions, you aren’t planning on hanging out around a hospital anyway,  you have things to do and who knows, it is probably indigestion. (I mean really, how is someone who has never done this before supposed to accurately assess the situation).

Yes…very true, and the closet is sparkling now, but no, not what I was getting at.

2. You make one last pit stop at the donut shop for a farewell to guilt free “meals” salute.dsc_1364_edited-1

Again…totally true, but no, still not what I wanted you to guess. (Stop with the “she is eating like a pregnant lady” faces because I have only done this twice in 9 months.)

3. You look at your hospital bag and rethink each item chosen as if you were going on a luxurious vacation to St. Lucia.  This cotton dress?  I don’t know…maybe I should switch it with this one.  Those socks just might be too fluffy, I better throw these in.

Hey, we all know I’m not packing for St. Lucia anytime soon but packing is packing, you still have to go through the process.  Still a NO on what you were supposed to guess

tugblurThe hint is in the title kids, duh.  When you feel as though you may go into labor at any second, your husband no longer allows you to call him at the office because each time he thinks it is “the call”, your doctor is shocked at how low is head is and is trying to not fuel the “your not going to make it to your due date” fire, and everyone you know starts or ends a conversation with “Okay, keep me posted, let me know if anything is happening.”, you pamper your pets.  There are more than a few problems with this though besides being the crazy dog owner who writes about “pampering her pets” because she knows the poor things are going to get neglected for months to come.

1. They in no way appreciate going to the vet to get up to date on all of their shots, going to the groomer so they are clean and trimmed, getting their backs adjusted so that there old bones stop cracking and bothering them andsc_1471_edited-1ytime they jump and teeth cleaning for a pearly white smile.

2. They in no way realized what the list of things above that they don’t appreciate does to your bank account.

3. They in no way care that you are now poor because they didn’t realize your low bank account funds were due to their pampering that they didn’t appreciate and are still obsessively trying to get you to rub their bellies and play fetch because after all, what have you done for them lately?

You see, along with the cleaning and organizing and putting things together with entirely too many unnecessary parts that additionally require entirely too many batteries instead of coming with a plug, we decided we needed to get the dogs all taken care of and set up so that we weren’t worrying about them and or truly needing to do anything to them/with them once Baby Kaz arrives.  Getting talked into additional procedures at the vet is almost as bad as when you are getting an oil change and end up also replacing 8 randoface-shotm air filters and getting a flush of some sort that you don’t understand other than it doesn’t involve a toilet.  You don’t want to do it, but you also don’t want to be the guy spending three times as much on something else in a few weeks/months because you didn’t listen to them the first time.  Hence, the doggy teeth cleaning.

I mean really, they stick their noses in their own poop and here we are getting their teeth cleaned which they are just going to be img_0446mad that their mouth is sore and all of that plaquey goodness they worked hard on accumulating is gone. I am harping so much on the teeth cleaning because you see I was watching The Bachelor on Monday, ( I know…I know…I don’t really want to watch it either, but it is just sooooo bad, and he is just sooooo cheesy that is makes it irresistible once it is on.) and they happended to be in St. Lucia (hence the reference above when referring to the hospital bag).  I told the hubs that we should just go ahead and pack for St. Lucia to which he replied, “We already did, we are staying at the St. Doggy Dentist resort.”

Those dogs just don’t know what I gave up for their health, teeth, backs, fur and ultimate well-being.  I suppose this is when I do the whole credit card commercial….
Vet Check Ups – $300.00 each
Grooming – $100.00
Back Adjustments – $80.00
Teeth Cleaning – $1500.00
Prescription Anti-Allergy Food – $70.00

Getting pawed at in the face early in the morning, french kisses by a tongue that also licks it’s rear, barking at things they hear but you can’t, saliva covered toys making their way to your hands and throw up on your pillow from the grass they ate that day … priceless.
Strangely true, isn’t it?

 
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Priorities

Posted by casey on February 14, 2010 in For Your Funny Bone, Snapshots

dsc_1487_edited-1

Yes it is snowing.

Yes that is my husband.

Yes that is him on a ladder while it is snowing.

Yes that is him on a ladder with a broom in his hand while it is snowing.

Yes that is him on a ladder with a broom in his hand dusting off technology while it is snowing.

Come on, you know you would be fixing your satellite dish too.  You’re just jealous you didn’t do it yourself.

Lesson learned. Now you know.

 
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Kids Will Play

Posted by casey on February 14, 2010 in Home

dsc_1501_edited-1You know how if you give them the smallest chance, kids will find some way to turn a situation into a game giving them any excuse to play?  Well, Colter and I did that a little this week.  You see, you might have heard (as everyone is facebooking, emailing, and blogging about it in addition to the news) but we had some snow this past week.  By some snow I mean over a foot in some Dallas areas.  Here at the house I think we topped off at about 11 inches.  I know, I know, I grew up in Ohio so I get it, all you real winter people think we are crazy for making it such a big deal.  However, the last time it was even close to this was in 1977 at around 7 inches of snow.  So you see, it is in fact a big deal.  Such a big deal that I learned my sweet husband had never even built a snowman. (The poor man has lived in Texas his whole life).  Due to that fact as well as having two curious pups and being cooped up, we decided that we should play like kids before we have our kid.

In true snow spirit, we even put long-johns on complete with hats, gloves and scarves.  Fortunately Colter wasn’t the only inexperienced Southerner who had done little with snow prior to this aside from skiing on it during vacations to Colorado.  The dsc_1491_edited-1neighborhood kids and parents a like were a bit baffled as to what they should actually do with the snow.  Parents attempted to construct snowmen as their kids wished for them to realize it wasn’t as easy as they thought to make three well rounded snowballs that would stay together and stack. (The concept of packing the snow and rolling the ball was completely lost to them).  Children tried to make snowballs to have a fight like the ones they have seen in movies only to again realize they had to pack the snow in their hands to make it at all worth it.  I will say there was creativity in some of our neighbors breaking out their Ranch four-wheelers to blast around the neighborhood in and the small hill next to our house became a makeshift sledding hill.  It is a small slope I must tell you, but the closest we had.

dsc_1549_edited-1Yes I was careful, yes I watched my step and no I did not slip or fall once, or even come close to it.  I did however build a snowman.  Who says being 8 months pregnant means you can’t build a snowman?  My belly may have compared in size to his, but our snowman was constructed by a kid who grew up with snow and knew what she was doing.  Colter was a brilliant assistant and I think we beat everyone else’s if we’re being competitive here.  I made one bad decision while out in the snow…I attempted a pregnant snow angel.  Once I laid on my back though I was stuck and had to use every ounce of strength I had to push my arms and legs (one at a time mind you, not all at the same time like normal people snow angels) through the snow to try to make that cookie-cutter shape.  I got stuck.  I couldn’t see over my belly.  My husband had to pull me out.  Embarrassed? Only slightly.  Laughed?  Definitely.  No more pregnant snow angels I promise and I don’t recommend you try it either if you have the opportunity.

If you click on the link below it will show you the full slide-show of our days in the snow so that you can see the full effect of the dog’s enjoyment, our escapades including sledding and dsc_1511_edited-1snowballs as well as fixing what is most important in a snowstorm, the satellite dish.  Colter can officially say he has built a snowman now which I think is a vital step prior to becoming a father and Baby Kaz has experienced his first snow…sort of…just go with it! Here is to Texas snow that we won’t see again for another 3o odd years!

http://s337.photobucket.com/albums/n386/caseykazmann/February%202010%20Snow/

(When the slideshow starts click “reverse order” in the bottom left corner because it uploaded them backwards!)

 
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Polar Bear Bo

Posted by casey on February 11, 2010 in Puppy Palace, Snapshots

After observing him in the snow this morning, we have determined that he is part Polar Bear. Bo-pup was in heaven with the snow, – Burrowing in it, eating in it, sprinting and playing until his paws were so heavily weighed down by stuck clumps of snow that he had to follow me in.

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He might hate the rain, but snow doesn’t slow him down at all. Go figure.

 
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For the Sake of Humor

Posted by casey on February 10, 2010 in For Your Funny Bone, Home

shirtAs each day makes me wonder how much longer I am actually going to be pregnant since this kid is definitely warming up for the big game I figured I owe you at least one more of these posts as I have mentally kept track of the hilarious woes of those that are preggers.  You know you’re MAJORLY pregnant when…

– Your gut changes shapes and contorts to one side making a nice ski slope slant as someone has a party in there.  I hear beer guts don’t contort like this but just serve as a great table for the next beer.

– Your brain keeps telling you that you definitely have to pee every 45 seconds.  Yet, when you give in to your brain and waddle into the throne room, slowly and precariously have a seat, nothing.  One big trick.

– Now that you are sitting on that porcelain throne though, you seriously contemplate just staying there because first of all it takes a bit of effort to stand straight up without any handles to push you up or abdominal muscles to e165-weeksngage and secondly, you know now that you have wasted 30 seconds trying to make this decision you only have 15 seconds left until your brain tells you that you have to pee again.

– You are awake at 2:00 a.m. for 45 minutes at least because of the hiccups.  Strangely enough, the hiccups aren’t yours.  It takes you a groggy second to remember that your unborn child gets them too, and now that he is HUGE, his hiccups practically feel like your own.

– As if the hiccups aren’t annoying enough when you get them, when he has them you can’t get rid of them by holding your breath or getting scared.  You just wait. Thump – thump – thump – thump-thump-thump. Cute? Okay fine, but much cuter during the day not at 2:00 a.m. when you were just up to pee 45 seconds ago.

– Your dogs start nudging your tummy when it kicks them completely offended that it seems like you are poking them for no reason yet they can see you20weeksr hands not doing anything to them.  Then they fight over who gets to lay across the tummy and feel baby brother.  Just what you need when you already have this basketball full of water sitting on your stomach, dogs laying on top of it.

– You walk into restaurants with a wait and any man in the immediate vicinity makes a loud scene that goes something like this..” WOAH!!! You can’t wait, you’re going to have that kid if you stand here and wait.  I mean, it is like the dough has risen and is ready to come out of the oven.  Someone get this lady a chair! WOAH!!!”

– You walk into a restaurant with a wait (yes again) and men insist that you take their table buzzer for an earlier table, because again, there is just no way you can wait. The women just stare.

– While you may not be able to sleep much at night, if you lay on the couch during the day you will be out cold for tw6months2o to three hours within 5 minutes of laying down.

– Full turning while in reverse doesn’t really happen anymore because you can’t even begin to twist what used to be a flexible torso.  So you fully utilize all of those mirrors and consider just closing your eyes and praying for a good end result.

– You position yourself in your car only to realize that there are items in the cup-holder and passenger seat that you need to get out of the car to make room for the new items in your hand.  The thing is, it is quite difficult to scoot yourself over the raised lip on the edge of the driver’s seat to get out so well you just empty everything on the floor of your garage.  The floor at this point is much closer than having to stand up and place them somewhere or take them back inside…I mean come on you pull the pregnant card on yourself.

– Your husband comes home and wants to know why there is all this stuff on the garage floor and you tell him to read the above statement and that you thought it would be fun to make the garage a parking obstacle course and that you are still pregnant.  He is slightly amused which well makes it okay.

– Instead of judging your day on whether your hair is cooperating or not, you say it is either a good or bad belly button day based on how far it is protuding outwards.

– At this point when someone sees yo28weeksheart_edited-1u each day they make this statement. “Wow, you are still pregnant.”  They too think it is any minute, which terrifies them so they only get so close. (Unless you’re Leah who knocks on my car window when I’m not looking  to scare the ever-living you know what out of me as if to panic me into labor.)

– When you sit it feels as though you are sitting on his head because well, he has dropped and you basically are.  So instead of sitting you shift from odd position to standing every minute.  It makes focusing on any TV show or book quite the challenge for anyone in the immediate area.

– All day you pace the house picking up the same items you picked up yesterday because heaven forbid that  if you go into labor in the next ten minutes and that item is out of place or dusty you are going have to bring him home to that and that is just unacceptable.  So, everyday you wash any laundry, re-dust all surfaces and let your head spin in circles to see what else you can Lysol or Bleach even if you just did it so that you know for sure it is clean.  Yes, those last sentences rambled in a crazy manner because that is what your brain does all day.

– Your pantry has titles like “Little Debbie”, “Keebler”, “Kellogg’s Fruit Loops” and other things that you haven’t seen since you packed a sack lunch to take with you to elementary dsc_1399_edited-1-copy1school.

– Who cares if it is 9 a.m.  When you want some mac and cheese, you want some mac and cheese.

– If you drop something on the floor it stays there.

– Your dogs now understand the phrase “I can’t reach it, you have to put it in my hand, ” when playing fetch and will grab their toy again and place it in your hand instead of throwing it at your feet.

– The only response you can think of to the daily “How are you feeling?” question from anyone who sees you and/or knows you is “Pregnant.”

 
4

The Final Countdown

Posted by casey on February 5, 2010 in Home

dsc_1399_edited-1-copyYou could say that it is the final countdown, the home stretch, the last mile but it all really comes down to the same thing, month 8.  Yup, one more supposed month until Baby Kaz’s arrival and I thought I would show and tell you a little about what month 8 looks and feels like because well it is entertaining and pathetic at the same time while anyone watching me try to move finds it hilarious.

– My dear, sweet husband has finally chosen a pet name for me.  Something we have never, ever done is pet names, but now he has latched on to one.  Roly – poly.  Nice huh?

– The general public is still incredibly nice to me (opens up new checkout lanes in long lines, gives up seats, tries to assist in sitting or standing which is weird) You know all the old lady stuff again.  Why aren’t we this considerate of everyone all the time?

– Along with that kindness though is a mixed in panic as all of these strangers fear me going into labor right in front of them suddenly making them the doctor, coach or hospital chauffeur.  Don’t worry it is a VERY small percentage of women who actually go into labor in public, it is a science thing, public isn’t safe so we wait for private.  I think I want to walk around telling everyone with the large, worried eyes, “Don’t worry, if I have a say in it I don’t want you to deliver my baby either.”  Do you think that would be comforting to them?

– My bladder tells me every 45 seconds or so that I just drank three gallons of water and I have to pee now.  However, my bladder is lacking the memory that their is a small child now head butting it constantly so it is all one mean, nasty, trick.

– Ahhhh nesting.  Well, lets see…if you need me to get out of the house at any particular time then don’t let me open a single drawer, closet, cabinet or shoot, look around because I img_6652_edited-1am going to find something to re-organize.  I know it is tough to imagine, but it is quite uncontrollable…

The poor refrigerator is the repeat victim as I the repeat offender like to grab a bottle of water as I am walking out the door.  Only, I then can in no way walk out the door because the condiments aren’t lined up, I can’t see the labels on the juice, and we just have too many darn jars of jelly.  It turns into an emergency of epic proportion and there I still am two hours later, bleaching a now empty refrigerator.  We rarely have food in the refrigerator now because it is just so clean and pretty with only 5 items inside.  Who is with me?

Sleep.  Well, I want it and I know I’m supposed to be “stocking up” on it (which is actually not possible, but just a silly phrase in case you were wondering) but the dogs and I, okay dog and I (Thrasher is quite irritated by waking up) much prefer the middle of the night hours to think about our day, reflect on any upcoming activities and to switch positions every 2.3 seconds to find comfort.  I sleep beautifully during the day though.  If I lay down around lunchtime whether I think I need to or not, I will be out in 4 minutes for a solid 2-3 hours.  That I can handle.  That gets me through “bedtime” which like a small child, I never want to go to anymore.

laundry-  The real issue with the insomnia is not so much my misery, but my husband’s lack of misery.  I lay awake watching him sleep like a freaking angel contemplating giving him a swift punch to wake him up too and then rolling over and pretending to be asleep.  Unfortunately, I can’t do anything swiftly these days nor is rolling over an easy task so I would be sure to be caught and then would feel guilty about the unnecessary abuse towards a normal human with normal sleep patterns that include rhythmic breathing, one comfortable position and 8 hours of pure, blissful, sleep.

Here is where the real fun comes in that took away some of my talking points such as difficulty breathing and heartburn due to two legs pushing into my lungs and upper digestive area, bruised ribs from Kung-Fu practice kicks to the right rib cage where his feet were residing, difficulty “feeding the hunger” from filling up way before I’m done since he was laying on my intestines and oh yes a slight waddle.  Why are those not main talking points you ask? 

Well, this past Sunday I woke up, stood up and thought to myself “Why does it feel as if there is a bowling ball in my pelvis trying to pull me downwards?”  Baby Kaz dropped.  No, I did not drop him, he isn’t actually here yet to do that with but he sure is getting ready to be here…all too soon!  If you are confused I understand.  He dropped as in he is getting in gametime position for the big show and is meaning business.  My whole tummy shifted so noticeably that those I saw on Monday went “Wait a minute, you didn’t look like that two days ago.”  Thank you, Idrawersopen am aware as I now can truly not sit down comfortable because it actually feels like I am sitting on a small child.  I also cannot walk even relatively normal.  I thought I had a waddle before but this even makes Colter laugh because my legs just can’t go straight forward and back like they used to.  My arms tend to be wrapped around my tummy trying to lift him up and remind him that he has several more weeks and all the other Kazmann babies were late.  So, if he could stop making my tummy contract and not roll over in class making my stomach look like ocean waves to now be straight up and down, that would be great.  Baby Kaz is already testing my patience.  Figures.

One good thing has come of this.  Panic nesting.   Documented in the pictures in this post for you, you can see some of the results of this busy time that my body seems to forget it is pregnant and goes, goes, goes until I physically fall onto the couch.  I mean I had started some things, but all of Baby Kaz’s laundry has been done and organized.  Organized into drawers which have been brought into our bedroom from his upstairs, for his initial home.  I have never done so much laundry at once but at least it made the house smell like baby.  My poor dining room turned into a laundromat with stations everywhere and piles that only I could understand the categories of.

The hospital bag while planned for, and had the items listed that would need to go into suitcaseit is now ready to go and as I do any piece of luggage, over-packed.  Baby Kaz has an outfit to come home in and while Colter does not have his bag packed he has snacks picked out to torture me with while I’m not allowed to eat which is really the most crucial thing.  Colter has however, been building like crazy.  Bassinets…strollers…car seat…basketball hoop (essential for a newborn right)…pack and play…all things that you would thing would come assembled since their boxes are definitely big enough.  Alas, no…more parts, direction books and miniature Allen wrenches.

The poor dogs are even getting impatient and anxious.  Bo just cries at the nursery wanting to see his brother.  He whines at the crib until we lift him, okay, until Colter lifts him to show him that Baby Kaz is not actually here yet.  Since that doesn’t quite satisfy them, they then fight over time on my belly.  Yup, puppy trade off for who gets to wrap their body across my tummy.  Bo has taken to rubbing his face where Baby Kaz is moving or nudging him with his nose.  I’m heavy enough, I really don’t need dogs adding to the tummy to tell you the truth.

dsc_1379_edited-1-copyOur list of necessary items that we still need to purchase haunts me daily as I walk around convinced he is going to decide to come at any second.  Let me tell you folks, that is motivation to get shit done. Lets just hope that the final countdown has the chance to make it through the entire countdown and doesn’t stop halfway through.

 
4

Let the Games Begin

Posted by casey on February 5, 2010 in Snapshots

Complain all you want, but Baby Kaz will remain Baby Kaz until his birthday.
initials

That doesn’t mean you can’t drive yourself crazy guessing his name with no confirmation to give you relief.
You’ve got one month to figure it out!

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