4

Because You’re Impatient

Posted by casey on September 30, 2009 in Snapshots

I said I wouldn’t do it.  I really had strong words with myself that I wouldn’t do it.
But you are driving me nuts. I get it, you’re curious. You think NEEEEEEDDDD to know.
Fine.
Fine, fine, fine.
A big…fatty fine.

shirt

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Oh that is nothing,” you say. Haha, it is the shirt. Clothes have this funny thing about concealing various areas of your body. I know, crazy.
16 weeks. 4 months. However you like to say it.  (Really just a couple days shy of 17 weeks)
Are you ready? Are you sure? Brace yourself…you asked. I just give….give…give..

BAM!
16

 

 

 

 

 

Now, are there any questions about why my pants no longer button or zip?
I didn’t think so.
(Seriously….the Kazmann 9-10 pounders migh turn me into a whale.  In the words of a friend, “You have every right to whale it up. Embrace it.”)

 
5

The Love in a Hug

Posted by casey on September 29, 2009 in Family, Nieces and Nephews Oh My!, Snapshots

hugpop

She hugs now. Stuffed animals…pups…aunties…toys…grandpas.
Hugs. Real, squeezing hugs.
Umprompted hugs even.
Beat that.

 
0

A Creamy Classic – Home Made Mac

Posted by casey on September 16, 2009 in In The Kitchen, Snacks and Sides

So far I haven’t had many “cravings” per say…okay well I definitely know what I want when I want it but I mean, that is just being decisive right?  I can say this, the one thing that I have wanted almost constantly and have been able to eat at practically any time is mac and cheese.  Kraft, microwave, restaurant – it doesn’t matter it always settles nicely and is just so darn delicious.  So today, since it is raining for the 8th day in a row I needed something comforting. You guessed it, mac and cheese.  This time though, I decided to steer clear from the cheese powder packet you find in the box and use my Grandma’s cooking talents with her recipe.  That being said, you have to be patient with the recipe because it is one of those that goes a little of this, a few of that.  Just look at the picture though, how can you resist?

Grandma’s Mac and Cheese

maccheese1 bag of large elbow macaroni
1 block Longhorn Cheddar (not regular cheddarn, longhorn)
1 block of milk cheddar
Velveeta (I’m sorry, it is true)
1 Tablespoon butter (or more if you love butter like Colter)
1/2 – 3/4 cup milk

– Preheat your oven to 350 degrees
– Cook the macaroni (as much as you want) until tender. Drain and rinse.
– While the macaroni is cooking start slicing the cheese into thin slices. How much you ask? No idea…slice about 5-6 thin slices of each and then we will go from there
– Place one layer of macaroni in the bottom of a casserole dish. (We will repeat this, so don’t use it all)
– Slice up 1/2 tablespoon of butter and place the squares on top of the macaroni.
– Cover with slices of all of the cheeses, one layer thick covering all.
– Repeat with another layer of macaroni, butter and cheese.

I know Velveeta is so questionable and well, who really wants to know what it is actually processed out of but frankly it was made to melt folks so you need todsc_0418_edited-1 put a bit in there.  I try to not put a lot of Velveeta on the top layer (that is exposed) because it turns an ugly brown when baked looking burnt if it is on top.  Okay, here is the tricky part….the milk. 

When Grandma taught me this recipe oh, a decade ago (geesh…I don’t like being able to say that)this was the ultimate estimate.  “Just pour the milk in until you can see it.”  Wait what? See it where?  How am I supposed to see it with all this pasta and cheese in the way? “Look down the sides, you will start to see it.” Ummmmm oky doky.  So excuse my language, this is the crapshoot part of the recipe.  In all honesty if you put too much in, it doesn’t matter, it will drain off.  But, there you go, pour the milk in ( I estimated the amount up top but it depends with how big you are making it) until you can see it pooling.

Bake at 350 Degrees for 30 Minutes (or so)

Don’t worry, you can play with it and regardless it is always good.  If there is extra milk when you dig in just drain it off, have no fear.  I promise, even with the “a little of this and a dash of that” recipe that I don’t do to you often you won’t be disappointed.  Homemade mac and cheese really is the best, even if you aren’t pregnant.

 
1

Nothing to Snicker About – Snickerdoodles

Posted by casey on September 15, 2009 in In The Kitchen, Sweet Treats

Growing up, I had a favorite cookie and it was the Snickerdoodle.  I think it was partly because of its name, I mean how can you not love the name.  Now though, I have moved on from the name alone and really appreciate how simple and mild it is.  A mild cookie means you can eat more of them because they aren’t overpowering or so sweet that they hurt your teeth.  So ladies and gents, I bring you another family recipe – the Snickerdoodle.  It is a great everyday cookie, but the cinnamon also makes it a delicious treat around the holidays!

snickerdoodle

Snickerdoodles

Preheat oven to 400 Degrees

 

INGREDIENTS:

1 cup shortening

1 ½ cups sugar

2 eggs

2 ¾ cups flour

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 teaspoon baking soda

                                                                                ½ teaspoon salt

 

DIRECTIONS:

Cream the shortening and sugar.  Add eggs and mix.

Sift together the dry ingredients.

Gradually add the dry ingredients to the creamed mixture.

Roll in balls.

Roll in cinnamon sugar.

Place on ungreased cookie sheets.

 

Bake at 400 Degrees for 10 minutes.

 
1

Lazy Sunday

Posted by casey on September 13, 2009 in Snapshots, Uncategorized

lazysunday    

 

 

 


lazysunday2

 
0

Tips and Tricks # 1

Posted by casey on September 13, 2009 in In The Kitchen, Tips and Tricks

In August, I wrote you about Battling the Microwave which really had more to do with Baby Kaz than the microwave itself.  However, I decided (after some pressure from Leah) to share some tips and tricks I have with you….and this one goes perfectly if you too are battling your microwave.  Not only does the food you are cooking in it smell up the house, but so does whatever else has bubbled over and crusted in your microwave. Don’t act like yours is spotless, you may wipe it out when there is a spill but you know there is grossness in there.  What stinks is trying to spray random cleaners in there to soak it, or scrubbing until your arms feel like they have been shoveling snow all day. Let me help.

dsc_0355_edited-1  You will need a bowl of water, a lemon cut in half and well…..a microwave.  Now, get ready for the easiest cleaning of your life.

1. Squeeze the juice of one half of a lemon into the water. (Yes, it is fine if the seeds get in there.)

2. Put the bowl of lemon water into the microwave and microwave on high for 1 minute.  The steam of the water has acid from the lemon in it and it will coat the sides of your microwave. 

3. At the end of the minute, take a paper towel and wipe down the sides with ease.

4. Repeat the one minute process and squeeze more lemon juice in it, if it is really bad as many times as you need to keep wiping it down.  I promise you will not have to scrub and in the end you will have a shiny, lemony fresh microwave.

You Are Welcome.

 
2

Tearfest 2009

Posted by casey on September 8, 2009 in Home

So last year on September 7th, I wrote this post about my Mom’s birthday.  This year I was too stinking occupied with purse snatchings, high speed chases and the police to get to that point. So Happy Day After Your Birthday Mom, you would have been so proud of me this year, I was almost on an episode of COPS during the wee hours of your birthday morning!  I can say this though, what I lacked in a birthday blog post about this I made up for in pointless tears.

You see, both Em and I remained very calm and in control (as did Leah, Mark and Colter) during Sunday night…well Monday morning’s events.  All of the crying and carrying on we should have done during that and immediately after we made up for on Monday.  Let me share  a few with you…

1. After going to bed WAY too late once all of the criminal festivities ceased I woke up to check the time on my phone like I do every day.  I no longer had a phone, because that “enter choice name” stole it.  So I burst into tears.

2. I made the journey to the phone place which will remain nameless so as not to hurt their reputation….AT&T WIRELESS !!!!! They suffficiently screwed me so that I could not replace my phone without giving them one arm, 1/4 of my salary, weekend visits with my dogs and every other Thursday use of my television.  I walked out and burst into tears.

3. I then went to Home Depot to buy blinds for for two small windows on either side of my front door because it freaks me out at night when Colter is gone that the world can see in (I had already gone to do this once a few days earlier but my prego blood sugar tanked and I couldn’t handle it).  They told me I had to special order the blinds.  Then she snapped at me and asked what I was waiting for and said it would be 30 minutes.  Since she was rude, and AT&T WIRELESS had just screwed me, I burst into tears.

4. As I left Home Depot and put my keys in the ignition I realized that I no longer had a keychain.  Not only that, but that the keychain that I used to have that was stolen by you know who was given to me by my mom….on my birthday before she died….and then stolen from me on her birthday. Awesome.  So….I burst into tears.

5. Frustrated and exhausted I went home and attempted to change.  But when I couldn’t zip up my pants, I burst into tears.

6. I burst into tears laughing at my own blog post about the criminal events and then burst into tears again as I again had the epiphany that it did actually happen.

7. I planned a trip to a cute gift shop to buy Emily and I new keychains to make us feel better.  As I got ready to go and checked the address I saw the email that they were closed on Labor Day.  I can’t even try to makeup for this criminal’s mischieft with retail therapy, so….any guesses? I burst into tears.

8. I got a GREAT coupon in the mail for Ann Taylor Loft which has the best work clothes for me that I can usually double and transform into a reasonable non-work outfit.  However, Ann Taylor’s perfectly tailored clothes will no longer button over Baby Kaz. Tears folks…bursting into tears.

9. I remembered that my husband is a long distance husband again starting this week for a few weeks and after the weekend  I could use a smidge more time with him so I burst into tears.

10. I can’t even unlock the classroom I am unsure I even want to go to in the morning because those keys too were stolen.  Then we were told we would have to pay for these keys to be replaced.  Tears.  (The expense of the crime is getting out of hand)

11. The kicker…I didn’t even get to pick up Mom’s favorite birthday cake to eat in self  pity this year because I was too busy bursting into tears…and the thought of coconut cake didn’t agree with Baby Kaz.

Shall I go on?  Only about 30% of this I will attribute to hormones, the rest is exhausted rage at all of this.  Also, Emily cried as much.  She might have even burst into tears more.  There were a few other events at work today and this evening that I could add but I refrained.

So, last year Mom, you got this post .  This year you got a police report and a lot of random tears and a pregnant daughter who is in a really BAD place….a really dark and dreary place all because of some jerk who set of a chain of events that just keeps going.  I will try to do better next year, and yes, I will work on my attitude.

 
9

I Think This Is Happening – The Conclusion

Posted by casey on September 7, 2009 in For Your Funny Bone, Friends, Home, Uncategorized

Honest, I didn’t plan on there being so many parts but well, it was just too good to leave anything out because it seems made up when it was just our night last night.  Again, if you are thinking I am off my rocker and starting in the middle of a thought, I kind of am, but it is really because you must have missed out on Part One or even Part Two of our adventure in police work.

The High-Speed Chase through Plano has come to an abrupt halt out front of an apartment complex. Dallas Douchebag’s vehicle and his female accomplice have pulled into a driveway entrance to the complex and we came to a sudden stop a good distance from them in the right hand lane.  Inside the car it sounds something like this…

Me: Ohhhh….ummmmm.
Mark: Uhhhhhhh…
Leah: They are stopping! They are stopping! They Have Stopped!!!!
Emily: Eeeeeeee…..uhhhhhh
Mark: Do we go? Do we follow?
All of Us Including Mark Answering His Own Question: NO! No way. Not behind an apartment gate.
Everyone: Ummmmmmm
911 Operator: Ummmmmmmm
Me: Welll???
Operator: Stay right there, look for the car. There are 4 entrance/exits so you can watch those, the police are on their way.

Mark continues to circle the complex looking for the car after they blocked the gate they entered so we couldn’t follow them without ramming their car anyway.  I am thinking that this “enter choice name here” was gutsy enough to walk into a wedding reception to steal purses and come back for a car so I don’t really want to find out what else he is gutsy enough to do.  Yes, it took a high speed police chase minus the police part for the Voice of Reason to click in, and No, the 911 Operator never once encouraged us to stop the chase.  I think he was getting an adrenaline rush himself…I was waiting for him to call out commands.

Here comes the calvary! (I personally prefer “Eye of the Tiger” to background music for this section but you may have a different choice) In roles three different police SUVs into the apartment complext with another behind us.  I must say, the operator did a wonderful job relaying all of the info because we didn’t have to re-tell too much.  We decided that we have been watching too many crime shows…no, not because we didn’t think twice about our own chase but because Leah, who is so observant notices that no one had gone in the apartment gate since the “suspect’s” SUV went in.  Why is this key?  Well, Leah decided that we should tell the complex to figure out what the last code or apartment # entered was and bust them! Unfortunately, apartment complex’s, even really nice ones like this, don’t seem to be too up on their technology.  Epic fail there.  Great idea though…CSI should hire us.

While the cops are hunting through the complex and we are thinking that surely they are hiding in a garage or have vanished through a different exit, Mark takes the time to note this observation to his wife.
Mark: “Hey, you know what?  I bet when that cop first came up and looked in the car, he was like, ‘Hey, how did that guy get three dressed up chicks in his car?'”
Mark, first thank you for being Mario Andretti.  I am so happy that your driving skills could be rewarded with an ego boost for looking like a pimp daddy.

Bad news kids.  No luck with the apartment complex….instead we then got a police escort back to the venue for him to talk to Colter, “Paul Blart – Hotel Cop”, look at their video surveillance and you know the works.  The cop wanted to follow us to the hotel.  We made it about a block before we had to admit that in the middle of following Dallas Douchebag in our chase, we had gotten a bit turned around.  So we pulled over, informed the cop we had no idea where we were and asked if we could actually follow him.  Poor Colter who was left out of the COPS episode….if only we had a video camera with us…is standing and waiting with Hotel Cop.

Since I am still in fact pregnant, I have to pee unbelievably bad at this point and leave them to chat.  The lady at the hotel front desk is so worked up with all of the “excitement” that she informs us we should have just shot at the people.  “Oh of course, why didn’t I think of that? Next time I will remember to pull out the gun I’m illegally packing to illegally fire at criminal strangers inside a No Firing zone.”  Thank you for the advice….that was a much better solution.

So there we are, stuck filling out paper-work while Real Cop is stuck with Hotel Cop and is putting the pieces together.  This brings us to the only picture of the night which Mark took just so he could take a minute and update his twitter status.  This would be Emily and I, and the title you ask? Fancy Dresses and Police Reports

70254727

The front desk offers to hide our car in the loading dock and block it in with a van so it can’t be stolen.  They just want us to give them the keys so they can move it there.  The keys…that were stolen…and then used to take the car.  The keys that if we had we would be home sleeping instead of still here.  I think the hotel people and the credit card people should get together. I’m just saying…

So we finish the paperwork, get our more or less worthless incident number and Hotel Cop guarantees that he is going to protect our car while we go home to get the key. (yes, we still have to do that part).  In fact, he tells us that he is going to move his personal car in front of it and box it in.  We all agreed that he most likely wasn’t going to do that.  Regardless, at 2:30 a.m. post purse snatching, car stealing, and high speed chase the McDonoughs are chauffering us all home since they are still the only one with a car.  We get to the house to get the spare key so we can drive back out there and bring home the poor vehicle!  Are you ready for the kicker???

After arriving home, we realize that my spare key is inside of a purse that is currently located inside of my trunk!

Seriously? Yes….seriously. Roadside assitance? Yes please.  Awesome? I think not. 

The conclusion…Emily shacked at Leah and Mark’s, Roadside Assistance unlocked our car…Paul Blart Hotel Cop did have his crew staked out in their cars around ours to watch the car…they were shocked when all of the sudden some guy is trying to bust in with a Slim Jim (Roadside Assistance) and we arrived home almost 6 hours after initially going to leave when we realized our purses were gone and the “Is This Really Happening?” saga began.  Today we are short our phones, Emily will be receiving hers in 5-7 business days, credit cards…again 5-7 business days and debit cards….you guessed it, 5-7 business days.  I have searched the house for an old phone to try to utilize (I’ll let you know how that goes) since shelling out $500 bucks for a replacement isn’t currently in my budget and we will each be paying a few hundred dollars for replacement keys to our cars.  I know you are disappointed that it didn’t end with me jumping on Dallas Douchebag’s back in a hormonal rage bringing him down until the cops arrived to find all of our belongings and haul his  rear to jail, but at least you laughed until now.  We are slowly starting to laugh as well, even though we are still in a really bad place about all of this and yes, I know at least we have our health…and my car…and we got to participate in a high speed chase.  How was your long weekend?

Sing it Now….”Huh, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna, Whatcha Gonna, Whatcha Gonna Do!”

 
2

The Chase – “Is This Really Happening?” Part Two

Posted by casey on September 7, 2009 in For Your Funny Bone, Uncategorized

I had plans to make you wait longer, but I am getting death threats…and I really need to back off on the crime in my life after last night.  Confused? 
You must not have read Part One which was posted this morning.  I will begin Part Two, but I warn you…there is going to be a bit of dialogue which is just too good to be left out.

Part One left you with this….”That way, we don’t come back to find the car gone but I mean really, who steals three purses and then comes back for the car.  Right? Right? I  mean seriously.  My pregnant ass is less than thrilled to leave Colter sitting outside waiting for this “enter choice name here” to come back, but fine.  Plus, he isn’t coming back. No way.

We turn and walk into the garage and are going up the elevator to Mark and Leah’s car.  Emily is on the only cell phone we have trying to cancel her credit card.  We are in the car, pulling out of the garage only to hear Colter point and yell “That is them!” to the car behind us. ”

Let the chase Commence

At this point, I am going to take a step back and explain what was happening in two different situations at the same time.  Both equally ridiculous.

As we were walking into the garage, you should recall that I mentioned Emily was on the phone trying to cancel her credit card.  I love these games…this is how her conversation was going.

Emily: Hi, yes, I need to report my credit card stolen and cancel it.  No, I don’t have the credit card number, because it was just stolen.
Operator: Oh, let me transfer you to the right person.
Emily: Okay, thanks.
Emily: Hi, yes, I need to report my credit card stolen and cancel it.  No, I don’t have the credit card number, because it was just stolen.  No, I don’t have the card…it was STOLEN.
Operator: Oh, let me transfer you to the right department.
Emily to Us: I am on to operator number three and so far they all think I can read them the credit card number off the card I’m telling them was just taken..”

Continue that conversation on one side of your brain, because let me tell you it definitely continued just like that.  While she was battling Moronville via the phone and we were getting in the car Colter, who was two stories below and 30 seconds from us was experiencing his own battle.  I introduce to you Dallas Douchebag…

Re-Told From the Hubs:
So I am sitting there, a couple of cars down from the car when I hear “Beep, Beep” and the yellow lights on the front of our car flash when you are unlocking it.
Colter…to Himself: Wait, was that my car?  No way.
Colter, Running Towards Dallas Douchebag: Hey, Man…
DD: Oh hey, how you doing?
Colter: Well, its weird, my car just flashed and unlocked, but I don’t have the keys.  You’re standing there, so you must have the keys.
DD…Backing Away: Oh, no man. I’m just leaving the bars and my girl is trying to help me find my car.
Colter: Yeah, well, this is my car and you just unlocked it.

Dallas Douchebag turns and jumps back into the getaway vehicle as we are pulling out of the garage discussing how crazy this is, what a pain in the ass it is with NO IDEA how crazy it is about to get.  Colter is running towards us with his phone to his ear (calling the cops) and yells “That is them, they just came for the car, those are the guys.”

Visual - Mr. Mark McDonough is courteously driving his Altima packed with three girls (one pregnant) in cocktail dresses.  His wife is in the front seat with her head hanging out the window and hands perched on the door frame like a small puppy, Emily is half out of the car still on the phone with the lovely credit card company who is confused as to why she can’t read them the credit card number and I am trying to figure out why my husband is yelling and pointing.  All of the sudden we all look behind us and see the “suspects” SUV and then Mark, has suddenly transformed into Mario Andretti.

Mark in a Not-Angry but Totally Serious Yell: In or out, girls, in or out!!!!
(We had no option…no time to get out, so we are all in)

Mark flips the car in reverse and the next thing we are know, we are flying down this “street” in reverse. Flying…but in a very controlled manner because Mark’s driving skills are so superb.  I swear I am not actually being sarcastic, it was impressive.  We hit the intersection in reverse (please do not be afraid, these were fake streets at this point no real danger of collision) and he flips in into drive.  I turn into mother bear…

Me: Seatbelts (calmly)….seatbelts (a little louder)…SEATBELTS!!!!
Emily: No, I want to cancel the card….CANCEL IT! (yes still on the only phone we have)
Me: Leah, get your head in the car.  Leah, get your head in. LEAH!!! GET YOUR HEAD INSIDE THE CAR!
(I swear, she was singing a musical version of this as it was happening in her head…complete with hand motions and wind through the hair)

Inside My Head: “Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do…Whatcha Gonna Don When They Come For You….”
Inside Leah’s Head: (so she told me later) Casey’s pregnant, Casey’s pregnant, Casey’s pregnant…
Inside Emily’s Head: The card…I just want to cancel the credit card.

So we are racing around Plano, following this vehicle which is realizing that we are following them and starting to fly.  Mark, so kindly informs us that “If you are uncomfortable at any point, let me know, because I will be driving fast.”  I start thinking that we are probably going to need to cops because I am picturing a continuous chase and I mean, we have things handled pretty nicely but a little back-up would be nice.  We have a problem though.  Since our purses were stolen by the same “enter choice name here” who just came back and tried to steal my car we only have one phone, Mark’s, and guess who is still trying to cancel her credit card?

Me: Emily, I need the phone. Em, hang up I think I need the phone.
Emily: Is the card canceled. Have you done that?
Me: Em, I really need that phone.  I need to call the cops.
Emily: I just need the card stopped bc I am going to have to call the police now.
Me: Emily, I need the phone. Em, hang up I think I need the phone. Em we only have one phone and I need to call the cops. EM, GIVE ME THE PHONE!!!

The phone which would randomly hook up to bluetooth so that we could hear that yes,  Emily did go to Target and spend $7.57 that day but no, she did not in the past 40 minutes charge $1,585 or $1,464 or $1,693 ot $1,238 or $269 all at Wal-Mart was now dialing 911 courtesy of my speedy fingers and I was connected. Uh-oh

Me: Ummmm yes…we are currently following a vehincle who attempted to steal my car after stealing our purses from a wedding. (I’m a girl, its hard for me to be brief)
Operator: Where are you?
In My Head: Oh, no…directions.
Me: Mark, where are we? Spring Creek and Tennyson, going NW…now we are going East…oh we turned again. Ummmm….
In My Head: They are never going to find us because I don’t know cardinal directions – fan-freaking-tastic.
Me: It is a blue or black SUV…Acura…and the license plate is…DAMN – temporary.
Operator: Is someone else in your car calling this in also?
Me: I don’t think so, this is the only phone. No definitely not. No one else is calling.
Operator: We are getting another report (turns out that was Colter…oh yeah…my husband…who we left in the dust so he could watch his pregnant wife and three friends fly off on a high speed chase)
Operator: We have three cops dispatched your way, do you still have the car?
Me: Yes they are still in front of us, we are flying, I mean..driving safely at a comfortable distance so as not to endanger ourselves.
Oh, they stopped! They stopped at an apartment complex…they are pulling over!!! Ummmm, ohhhhh, ummmmm

To Be Continued…To Go, or Not to Go

 
3

What??? Wait, Did That Just Happen?

Posted by casey on September 7, 2009 in For Your Funny Bone, Friends, Home

PART ONE

There is nothing like waking up at 11 a.m. to realize you did not get enough sleep and no, last night’s “events” were not in fact a dream.  Since arriving home at 5 a.m. this morning my brain has been running a million different ways to retell this and I just don’t think there is a way to do it justice.  Have no fear, your fearless blog leader will give it a shot though and I am warning you in advance that yes, it will jump all over the place because well…that is how it happened.  There is only one picture which you won’t see until the end, so be patient.

And…flashback.

A very dear friend of ours who I work with, was getting married last night, and we were truly honored to be invited and a part of her special day.  I said “ours” because there are some key players who you will become even more familiar with as the night progresses who were very much a part of the event.  I’ll give you a sort of run-down of these lovely characters so that you can feel you are reading a program to a play….(this is for you Leah)

The Cast
1. Colter, also known as the hubs.  Yes, he was in town!
2. Leah, the sassy, tiny friend who I think is always thinking of how she could turn something into a chipper Brodway musical.  (Leah taught 4th grade with me and now teaches 3rd grade with me and when I hear her Sunshine and Rainbows voice being all cheery with the children I think that I should try that sometime…but alas it never happens.)
3. Mark, the other male counterpart for the evening, Leah’s hubs who turned into Mario Andretti .
4. Emily, my fellow victim who does not think in terms of musicals much like me and not like Leah and also does not have a Sunshine and Rainbows voice when she teaches her now 5th grade class.  See Emily, we aren’t alone.
5. Yours Truly – I figured you understood that since I am writing this, but who wants to be left out of the program

Supporting Roles
6. Paul Blart – Okay, no, Kevin James was not actually there as Mall Cop, but his equally “courageous and important” twin was there as “Hotel Cop”
7. Dallas Douchebag – We will get to him, but just picture this…trendy button down, expensive jeans, highlighed spiked hair and steroids
8. The Plano Police – 3 squad cars…possibly 4 at one point
9. Mark’s Phone – Yes, the phone was a key character because it was the only one we had left.

Okay, here we go.  We were having a BLAST at the wedding.  It was seriously the most fun I have had with friends in months.  The bride was stunning, the venue was gorgeous and there was plenty of laughing, wonderful food and a fantastic band made this wedding hard to not have fun at.  As usual, the gentlemen stayed at the table during most of the reception making fun of us and I can only guess what other smart mouthed comments they had going on.  We managed, towards the end of the evening to finally pull them onto the dance floor for one song. (It was Justin Timberlake…Mark has a thing for, ummm, well, nevermind)  Worn out, we decided that will be the end of our wonderful evening and it was time to retire to our homes.

Step One – Put Shoes Back On
Step Two – Say Adios to Our Boss and Fellow Colleagues Sitting at the NEXT Table
Step Three – Grab our Purses From the Table

Step one and two went beautifully.  Step Three is where the little mishap came into play.  No more purses. I know, I know it is a wedding, they were misplaced right? Nope, goner.  I mentioned our boss and colleagues at the next table because their purses were safe and sound.  I also mentioned that we pulled the guys up for one song because other than that they had sat there the entire night.  I smell some awesomeness coming!

For Emily, big time bad news… ID, Credit Cards, Cash, Phone, Car Keys, the works.  Not so bad for me (in comparison)…I-Phone (who doesn’t want to replace one of those), Lip- Stick (important part I promise) and that is it.  Oh damn. No it isn’t.  This is when I remember Colter joking at the beginning of the wedding about my personal rehab system of pregnancy and how I can no longer drink.  This was when he laughed and handed me the keys because I will be our DD for the next 5 months and I put those babies right inside my purse.  The purse that I no longer have. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

I’m going to shorten this next part.  As it turns out another lady’s purse and a different adjoining table was also missing and she happened to be enraged.  We were still baffled that this was actually happening.  The hotel staff is on it and convinced we misplaced them. (Our wonderful boss kindly informed “Paul Blart – Hotel Cop” that if any of us said we left them in a certain location that is where we left them, we don’t just misplace things.)  We are trying to not draw attention to ourselves because we don’t want our friend the bride to see any of this going on while she is leaving. (Victim #3 didn’t care much about that.)  As we are talking to the hotel staff/security again another couple walks up to ask if anything is missing because they saw some guy walk into the reception in a white button down and jeans which they thought was strange at the time because it was a black tie wedding. (Yes, I would say that is weird.  How about you alert someone at the time? Crazy idea, I know)  Well, at least we have an idea now right?  Then another guest comes up to say she confronted this jerk as to why he was there but he gave her the old…”Oh, we are with the groom and just got off work, that is why I am dressed like this….and carrying purses.”

If there is anything we know at this point it is that the purses are definitely gone and they might have him on camera, but still they are gone.  Between our cast we only have one car and one phone and we need to get home.  We also have come to a decision that leaving my car parked out front overnight of this venue (which is not easy to get to but tangled into the streets of the Shops of Legacy) is not a great idea when your keys which have remote access are floating around in some jerk’s hand.  Since I haven’t reminded everyone yet, I am going to go ahead and do so now. I am pregnant.  So, Colter, my husband, is going to stay behind he decides and sit relatively near the car while we “run home” (40 min away) to get the other keys and come back.  That way, we don’t come back to find the car gone but I mean really, who steals three purses and then comes back for the car.  Right? Right? I  mean seriously.  My pregnant ass is less than thrilled to leave Colter sitting outside waiting for this “enter choice name here” to come back, but fine.  Plus, he isn’t coming back. No way.

We turn and walk into the garage and are going up the elevator to Mark and Leah’s car.  Emily is on the only cell phone we have trying to cancel her credit card.  We are in the car, pulling out of the garage only to hear Colter point and yell “That is them!” to the car behind us. 

To be continued…let the chase commence.

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