7

Three’s Company

Posted by casey on August 22, 2009 in Family, Home

After stringing you along with my Mystery Diagnosis posts, my “inboxes” were flooded with texts, emails and voicemails.  Colter informed me yesterday that I had not yet confirmed or denied anyone’s assumptions and guesses and that I should probably get on that. So, consider this me “getting on that”.

Yes, it’s true, Colter and I are going be making our home into an official family of three!  Oops,  I mean five….sorry Bo and Thrasher.  I am successfully wrapping up my first trimester (thank goodness)just in time to start teaching again on Monday and we could not be more excited about Baby Kaz’s arrival in mid-March!!!

Here are some fun facts for you so far…

– The Kazmann’s already have two boys and two girls as grandchildren.  So, they are anxious to find out which way we are going to break the mold making it finally uneven.

– I am due on the first day of Spring Break making it a perfect plan for work….let’s just hope I don’t go into labor early in front of the kiddos. Yikes! Imagine explaining that one!

– Starting school isn’t nearly as daunting knowing that come Spring Break, I am done for the year!!!!!

– Orr Babies (my brother, myself and my niece Cathryn) were all 4 to 6 pound newbies.  Colter, his brothers and his two nephews, the Kazmann men, tipped the scales all at almost 9 pounds or over.  Start the positive thinking. :)

– Baby Kaz already has a large non-blood related extended family.  Since my family is pretty small, I make up for it with plenty of extra Aunties.  Auntie Kirby, Auntie Leah, Auntie Em, Auntie Jordy, Auntie Christine and the list goes on…

– Speaking of Auntie Christine, my best friend, my Maid of Honor, one of my biggest supports and so on and so forth…she called me a few weeks ago…to share her good news…that she and Eric are expecting their first child…and are due 3 days before us!!!! We really feel blessed to be doing all of this together and sometimes someone is planning things out for you so that it all works out and you just don’t know it.

– Dana is already working on her hand-made baby blanket that she didn’t know she was going to have to recreate for each child after making one for Cathryn.

– Drum roll please…I kept a secret.  For the first time in my life, I was actually able to keep my mouth closed and keep this to ourselves for WEEKS and WEEKS and you know what, it was kind of fun. (Except for when Auntie Leah asked me to move her filing cabinets because I’m the muscles of the team.)

Thank you for all of your shared excitement and well wishes.  We really are fortunate to have a fantastic, supporting group of friends and Baby Kaz is going to love all of his Aunties and Uncles who just don’t happen to pass the blood test!

 
8

Picture to Diagnose

Posted by casey on August 19, 2009 in Snapshots

I led you on a bit of search with my Mystery Diagnosis post.  I kept the comments private so as not to lead you along on you guessed and I must say, I am pretty impressed.  Today is the day I said I would reveal the diagnosis, however I thought I would add one more scavenger hunt to this fun, little game.  As a child, in any doctor’s officer, I LOVED the Highlights magazine.  To be specific, I loved the black and white hidden picture page in the magazine where you had to hunt for all of the hidden items.  Along that theme, here is my nightstand and you have to locate the not so hidden gems (there are 6) that will give you the answer. I am betting the average you find is 3, maxing out at 4.  Click to enlarge and Happy Hunting!

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2

Mystery Diagnosis

Posted by casey on August 17, 2009 in Uncategorized

So, it turns out little old me is actually ailing from a little something and I thought I would spice it up and let you all play doctor instead of pay a co-Pay (I mean we are all trying to save a little change right?).  So, WebMD it up and enjoy yourself.  What are the symptoms you ask?  Well, you will have to re-read some old posts (4 to be exact) because those are the clues I have been giving you little by little that will help you do your research.  Diagnosis winner will be confirmed on Wednesday afternoon so get to it!

Symptom One    

 Two Isn’t As Lonely as One   

Three Is Getting Crowded    

Four Please let this be the last one.

 
0

The Battle of the Microwave

Posted by casey on August 16, 2009 in Family, For Your Funny Bone, Home, Life as I Know It

First, an important announcement – Colter is home! Whooo-hooooooo!
(I am celebrating by posting this pic of him wearing this stylish hat at the ranch while pouting like a small child.)

dsc_0170_edited-1The bad news is that because he is home the previously mentioned battle began resulting in what a friend of ours deemed a rookie mistake on my husband’s part.  I know, you need details.  You know how when you put anything in the microwave, especially any type of frozen meal or let’s say leftovers, in addition to heating the meal into an edible form it spreads a plume of food odor throughout the room?  Oh come on, don’t act like your kitchen doesn’t spread it into the living room and so on and so forth.

Occasionally, when the magical heating box is cooking something like popcorn perhaps, you might appreciate the smell.  In fact, it might even make you desire your tasty treat even more.  How about a smoked ham sandwich with garlic cream sauce and smoky bacon macaroni SALAD that was not supposed to be microwaved?  I do not think so.  One brilliant quality my husband has is that he will eat any leftover at any time of the day regardless of his other options.  I tend to like my meals once.  Okay, I tend to like half of my meal once always leaving a nice portion for him to snack on.

So, yesterday morning I was being useless on the couch after waking up enjoying a nice waffle and dsc_0223_edited-1orange juice when I hear him searching the fridge. Beep, beepbeepbepp.  The microwave.  Then there it was….the cloud of  smoked ham sandwich with garlic cream sauce and smoky bacon macaroni SALAD that was not supposed to be microwaved.  As if making the dogs and I experience it from a far wasn’t awful enough he saunters in front of us in the living room where you can practically see the stench following him.  Two bites into his meal he realized his mistake.  Macaroni salad, not macaroni and cheese.  Macaroni salad is not supposed to be heated up.  At this point, I already have my hand over my mouth plugging my nose and am begging for mercy. Naturally, he has to parade it in front of me again to throw it away.  Fan-freaking-tastic.

“Febreeze! Please, get the Febreeze! You have to Febreeze the room! I’m dying here!!!”  I know you picture an immediate jump into action Febreeze super-hero of a husband right?  Nope.  He proceeds to rinse his dish, wash his hands all while telling me he will get it….at some point.  I’m going to pass out from holding my nose and mouth so long.   If I let go of my nose and mouth I am surely going to bring my breakfast up and I just ate it so that is not going to be an easy process. ‘For the love, get the Febreeze!!!”  After searching through some carpet cleaner and other various bottles, I see him walking out of our bedroom with the beautiful, lavender colored bottle with his hand on the trigger about to save the day.  I am already picturing the mist swirling around the room cutting out the smoked ham sandwich with garlic cream sauce and smoky bacon macaroni SALAD that was not supposed to be microwaved smell from every angle when he walks over to me, lifts his arm and fires the Febreeze.  Where was he aiming with the dial in jet mode you ask?  My face.

I kid you not.  My husband just waltzed out of the bedroom, directly up to the couch lifted the arm to aim and squirted a ray of Febreeze all down my face.  Better yet?  He had no idea that was not what I wanted and didn’t even try to deny that he had done it.  He had done it because he thought I wanted the area around me sprayed. AROUND ME turned into my eye apparently and the dogs.  I couldn’t even yell I was laughing so hard.  One eye was crying because there was odor eliminator in it and the other from laughter.  Realizing his mistake he laughs and apologizes right? Nope.  Typical male response.  ‘Well, can you smell it anymore?”

In the wise words of my father, “Men, they’re pigs.”

 
0

Oh Doctors…

Posted by casey on August 13, 2009 in Home, Life as I Know It

Over my lengthy existence on this planet I have spent enough time in the hospital and with doctors to make up for those people who never have to go.  You are welcome health insurance, I keep you in business.  That being said, I have had some FANTASTIC physicians, some of which are practically family now. (orthopedic and cardiologist)  As I was hitting up my daily blogs that I scower to be inspired or just waste some time (there the truth comes out) I stumbled upon this post.  It was actually the second time I went to her blog today, just hoping she had posted something else since this morning.  She had…phew!

Take a moment and read it.  Laugh for a couple minutes.  Think of your own similar experience and then come back to Earth.  By Earth I mean this post right here…in case you were confused and thought I meant your own life.

Your Trip to the ER – Spill It: (But I have so many unforgettable experiences, which one to choose from!)  I think i will give you a snippet of a couple.

1. This post took you on an adventure through one more recent visit to the ER.  What I may have failed to mention is that similar to Jordan I told them that I am allergic to Reglan,Vicodin and react poorly to most painkillers.  When asked if I needed something for pain and responding by again telling them it is severe heart chest pains, not a broken bone, I was rewarded with two syringes of pain killers in my IV.  Lights out.  Don’t worry their “we’ll shut her up so she can’t question us by doping her up” plan backfired when they had to clean up my vomit.  I tried to tell them I react poorly.  Even better…they never even gave me the “Red Bracelet”.

2. The first time I dislocated my knee was in 8th grade  Little did we know that this would be the first of quite a battle with knee problems for which I would be rewarded four surgeries. Awesome.  Unfortunately for me, when it went out of place, it stayed there.  Enter nice, gentle doctor in the ER who comes to “look” at me.  By looking he then proceeded to say “take a deep breath”, grab my leg and wrench it back into place.  Even more awesome, I know.  That was a fun trip.

3. I’ll make it short.  The first time Colter had to take me to the ER on his own when we were in college for all of my blood pressure, Mayo Clinic business they stuck, excuse me, swabbed a giant Q-Tip in my rear to check for blood. “Hi honey, glad you are dating me and supporting me.  No this isn’t awkward or humiliating. Love you too. I’m just going to go cry now”

Beat that.
(By the way, I am sorry for the lack of pictures…it goes along with the useless business.)

 
1

Published!

Posted by casey on August 13, 2009 in For Your Funny Bone, Uncategorized

You can release that breath you have been holding for me for so long, because thanks to my doting brother, I am officially a published author.  I know exciting right????

What was the piece that made it to the big time is what you are wondering and I am proud to say it was a text.  Yes, that is right, a text message.  Oh, my mistake, by published you thought I meant a magazine article, journal and/or the book deal.  Ooops.  No, no, not those silly collections of writings, Texts From Last Night.

You know the website that posts ridiculous or silly texts that were sent to people the night before and tend to just be strange or the equivalent of a “drunk dial” but done in written form over a text.  I was’t intoxicated by the way.  In fact, I was just trying to be helpful.  Drew, my adoring big brother is out of town right now and is not very happy about it.  So, while asking me to do a couple things for him, he also asked me to develop his escape plan so he could come home..  Being the loyal listtle sister that I am I did as I was asked and I sent him the plan via text.  I give you my published work of art…

“Escape Plan = Get the swine flu.  Fake a fever, start oinking and snorting, (I hear that is key to the “disease”) and cause pandemonium.  This is sure to get you on an isolated, quarantined flight home.  Upon arriving you will be left only to discover that it was just allergies and after a good sneeze you feel much better.  You are welcome in advance and let me know how it works out.”

I know you are proud loyal readers and I accept your congratulatory remarks with pride in my own heart.  I don’t know if I will ever be able to top this “published” piece of art.

 
0

A Tragic Fairy Tale

Posted by casey on August 10, 2009 in On My Nightstand, Uncategorized

Call me girlie, but when I first saw this book and the title I thought it was going to be a sort of Cinderella/love story.  I know, I know…through the word “castle” at a lady and they go all fairy tale on you.  The second thing that struck me about this book is that it is actually a memoir.  You see , I bought this book awhile before I read it and when I picked it up I just sort of jumped into it without refreshing myself with the back cover.  After the first few pages that had already caught my attention I flipped to see that it was in fact a true story and I was even more hooked. Hooked in the same way that I was to this book, for many of the same reasons.  Maybe hooked isn’t the right word..intrigued…shocked…appalled…amazed.  Okay, I will stop.  Without further delay…

The Reviews
“Jeannette Walls has carved a story with precision and grace out of the most chaotic, heartbreaking childhood that has ever been down to a page.  This deeply affecting memoir is a triumph  in every possible way, and it does what all good books should; it affirms our faith in the human spirit.” Dani Shapiro

“Walls writes with clarity and grace.  It is her deep respect that infuses this astonishing story with grace.” Tampa Tribune

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Jeanette Walls’ grew up with anything but the picture perfect life and the picture perfect family, but her parents had no problem with it and believed in their methods very strongly.  Who needs to eat every day?  It builds character and trains your stomach to not be weak.  Heat during the winter with all of the windows open?  That is why you have siblings to snuggle with.  Why should I hold a job and be one more of society’s drones? Instead I’ll spend the pennies my kids got recycling some cans they found.  The list goes on.  What is most amazing about the nomadic childhood Jeannette and her siblings had is that it truly was by their parent’s choice.  At any point they could have chosen a better life, food, a real home and much more but never did.  You would think that their children would have been future-less, and just as unmotivated as their parents with no one else to guide them.  Instead their own ambitions, and desires lit a fire that led them each to their own lives.  You will not believe their choices and what their parents still chose for themselves.

Thought-Starter
“On the way home, she kept seeing for the first time all these things that most everyone else had stopped noticing because they’d seen them every day…At home, Lori insisted that I try on her glasses.  They would blur my vision as much as they had corrected hers she said, so that I could see the world as she always had for the past ten years.”

Quote-Worthy
“Even though I was only nine, I already wore a size ten shoe that Brian called ‘roach-killers’.  We sneaked into the kitchen, Mom threw the light switch and we kids all started the assault.  You didn’t even have to aim.  We had so many roaches that if you hit any flat surface you were sure to hit at least a few.”

Join the Club
Appreciate your Childhood

Read a great book lately?  E-mail any book finds you would like me to check out with my “trained amateur eyes” and review to lifeofthekazmanns@gmail.com

 
4

Useless

Posted by casey on August 10, 2009 in Home

That has been me.  Good – for -nothing and completely useless.  I think all the years of “busybodyness” (How is that for a made up word?) have accumulated into a giant pile of “can’t get off the couch syndrome”.  I refuse to call it lazy.  Lazy means I don’t care.  I do care…those 6 used glasses on the coffee table and bag of open chips are totally driving me nuts but I cannot will myself to pick them up.  Nope, no – can-do.

I have also been staring at the toaster for a while now.  The toaster that I haven’t used for at least four days, that I hate seeing sitting out on the counter instead of tucked away behind a closed cabinet is still there.  I swear to you, (Yes I know you aren’t supposed to swear, but now you know how serious I am.) putting that toaster away is like climbing a mountain at the moment.  Not the kind of mountain that you saw as a small child that turned out to be a tiny hill when you got older….an actual mountain.  Everest maybe.

I’m sure the fact that the hubs has been out of town for a week and will be for another week makes it a smidge easier to be useless but  well, I still couldn’t do it.  Maybe it would be better if he was home because it would drive him nuts and then he would do it leaving me to still be useless.  In some ways it is refreshing to do nothing but I just don’t want to end up on Oprah.  You know who I am talking about. Those women who go all “I need help escaping from my stuff” and they go in and are living among 42 cats, 18 tons of moldy trash, 14 toddlers and of hes a flat screen TV with HD service.  I promise, I’ll ask for help before then but for now the dogs and I are going back to bed…I’ll just pick that up later.

 
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On to Dreams

Posted by casey on August 5, 2009 in Home, Life as I Know It

img_6265-copy_edited-1Last week, I left you with a little taste of my sleeping habits, or lack there of.  I know that this part of my life is thrilling and entirely too interesting for many of you to handle, so I thought I would go ahead and update you as opposed to leaving you hanging in  Insomnia Land.  I have slept. I am sleeping.  Sleeping for hours in fact.  However, to interrupt these hours I have moved on from Insomnia, to Dreams.  Vivid dreams.  Realistic dreams.  Confusing dreams.  Disturbing dreams. Occasionally, there is a sweet dream. For example, one night I was rescuing students from a burning school only to find out that a crazed parent who wanted custody of their child had set the fire to kidnap their child as they escaped. (Kindergarten Cop style)  I was in high school on a field trip and my mom was a chaperon…but everyone knew she was dead, or going to die, or something.  So everyone kept asking if I was okay seeing her there and I too knew why it was weird she was there but also not weirded out that she was there.  But she was….there….exactly like she would have looked, and talked and ordered highschoolers around.  So I wake up having seen her, like really seen her for the first time in two years to realize, nope, dream.  Fantastic.   You name it, this week I have dreamt it.

Having dreams such as winning an Oscar one day for being the lead actress in the movie adaptation of my blog life is one thing. (I’m just waiting for the right bidder for the rights…) Having dreams that leave you as fuzzy as no sleep at all and make you realize 3 hours after you woke up that it was all a dream is a whole other situation.  Let me show you.

Roll Scene…
A young, ambitious student (me) is leaving for a cruise with a childhood friend (Jeni Halderman who I haven’t seen or talked to since I was 7) from Iraq. Yup, cruise from Iraq.  Just go with it.  A taxi drops them off at a hostel like hotel where they will spend the evening prior to embarkation. Damn! Casey realizes upon entering the run down, overcrowded, why the hell are we sleeping here building that she left her wallet/passport, and all forms of ID in the taxi! She sprints out and bursts through the door to see the taxi turning the corner. Panicked that she is going to miss her cruise (I mean why would I worry about being stuck in Iraq for the rest of my life w/no identity?) she looks anywhere for help when a young woman approaches.  Have no fear she says, its all taken care of and she will get it back. Phew! Then, a car backfires and we all jump into duck and cover position fearing the worst.  Silly car.  Moments later though, machine gun rounds fire off from both hands of a man who is simultaneously leaping from a 20 story building.  Then they see it…the herd of pirate terrorists (patches, scarves, gold chains and all…think “Arrrrr”) are running towards them shooting.  Jeni gets hit immediately. (Weird because I don’t recall her following me outside). I run upstairs and hide under a bed (naturally the best spot) only to discover they have a super smart sniffing Yorkie who hunts down innocent cruise travelers.  I lay there as they release the dog and hear it coming up the stairs.  Knowing this is the end to my existence, death by Yorkie, I hold my breath as I see it lean under the bed. “Who are you it?” Mr. Yorkie asks. “I’m just an American cruise traveler.” (Of course I respond.  A talking, hunting Yorkie dog is completely normal.) “Hmmm…well, you seem like you like dogs and you aren’t very meaty (I think this ninja dog just complimented my figure.) so wait here until all is quiet and you will be free to go.”

Bam! Eyes open! Wait, where is my passport? Ahhhh, killer dogs on me.  Oh wait, that is Bo…and Thrasher.  What the &%#$!!! Seriously, a cruise from Iraq….pirates, like Captain Hook pirates and a ninja Yorkie. (Imagine the breeding fee for that fellow.)

How was that for a dream? You thought your sleeping was bad.  Welcome to my world.  I will leave you with a wish…img_6107_edited-1

Dear Sleep King,
If you could stop peacefully snoring in cloud land with sheep dancing around you for two seconds…okay five minutes and grant me a blissful night’s rest I would be much obliged.  Eight hours would be great but five or six is fine if that is all you have the energy for but with no interruptions please. Like an infant…an “I don’t care where I am or what is going on around me” sleeping baby. I am dying to remember what it is like to drift into sleep darkness without assistance from the rain forest CD to awake to my alarm…not before.  Thank you for taking a moment of your never-ending rest time to consider me and my needs.   Your Ever Sleepy Friend ~C

 
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Nature’s Thirst

Posted by casey on August 4, 2009 in Snapshots

Daily here in DFW, specifically over my home East of Big D we have been getting a nice dose of rain.  Rain that is, complete with thunder, lightening and wind.  Wind so strong it whipped up a tornado like current that propelled Colter’s 2 month old birthday grill into the middle of the yard and un-assembled a portion of what my brother had so kindly originally assembled.  Have no fear, it is safely residing on the patio again tucked into another corner we believe the wind can’t reach like we originally thought.  Fingers crossed people, fingers crossed.  As usual, I have gone astray…

My point was that while we keep getting this wonderful gift from nature that is making my lawn lush, my jasmine bloom in summer and the summer heat much more bearable the rest of the nation and the farms in particular are starving.  Starving from thirst that is.  I think I should have gone with dehydrated.  Regardless here is some proof I documented for you from the ranch, that has never before been this thirsty at least while I have been around.

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