Be Ours {A Kazmann Valentine}
Get out your personally decorated shoebox I mean “Valentine Mailbox” like in elementary school because I have a few Valentines to deliver.
Happy Valentine’s Day From Our Sweethearts!
Pile It On
After this post…
and then this post…
and oh yeah, this post…
I have been getting a lot of “How are the Kazmanns doing?” e-mails and phone calls.
Caden got diagnosed with his first ear infection yesterday.
A double ear infection in fact.
That my friends, is how the Kazmanns are doing.
Just keep piling it on universe. Pile away, why stop now!
A Different Eve
This year’s Christmas Eve was a bit different as the absence of Dana was truly felt. Each year, she and Don always hosted a fabulous Christmas Eve at their house. In the months leading up to it I would chat with her about all of her shopping, wrapping and place settings for that year. She loved to find a new creative way to give everyone their own personal spot, a beautiful table, delicious food and gifts that would make their eyes light up. Dana was a kid at Christmas. She was always full of giggles and couldn’t contain her excitement as her gift pile grew – not ashamed of boasting when her pile was the biggest either. She had a fine balance of loving the gifts but really just loving having her family and her closest friends (who were even more her family) there to celebrate and share her love with.
As I wrapped each present this year I thought of her. Each and every present. Long ago she started artfully wrapping our gifts with decorative paper, elaborate bows from “real ribbon” complete with some specially coordinated topper. Over the years it became a sort of “thing” to see who was going to put what on top, which ribbon got recycled from last year and who got the special topper that year (inappropriate Santa ornament anyone?). Now, I can’t help but continue to do the same with all of my gifts for my nieces and nephews as they see what little trinkets adorn the tops of their packages too.
She was very much missed and will be each year especially on Christmas Eve but we will carry on with her holiday traditions as we try to start some new ones to make up for those lost.
This year, the Orr clan (brother and sister in law Drew & Jess with my niece Cathryn,
and nephew Cameron – Dad & Jill and my grandmother) gathered at our house. We decided to make it as easy on us as possible with 4 kids three and under so that it could be relaxed and about the kids. Everett made sure his first Christmas Eve was about him as he was fussy most of the evening requiring my full attention. I then inhaled a plate of food (the two minute swallow a plate of food without chewing because you have to get some 
calories so you can feed your son again meal) without paying attention to what I had been served. Thus…I threw Everett into a colic tailsping after the next feeding because of the meal. Poor Everett…poor us.
So, while I may have missed the end of dinner and all of the gift opening, I made sure that Colter took some pictures so I could see what happened!
The professional unwrapper himself.
(Turns out that once he unwrapped one that is all he wanted to play with and was annoyed by having to unwrap others.)
Here Pop and Nana Jill, let me help!
Pre-Fussiness Smiles for Pop
Celebrating Great Grandma Orr’s birthday a few weeks early.
Caden ecstatic to drink out of his Mickey Christmas cup with a straw. It’s the little things.
Just when Drew & Jess thought they had won Caden’s heart with the Little People airplane gift, he opened Great Grandma’s gift…a blinking, light up remote control car. You have never seen a kid giggle and squeal so much.
So yes it was different, but we were able to come together as a family and make it about the kids while still missing Dana and those we usually see at her house each year. We made new memories with the new and more grown kiddos this year and got to enjoy the magic they bring to the holiday. Everyone then ventured off to bed in their Christmas jammies waiting for Santa’s surprises!
Snowy
Have you seen the previews for The Adventures of TinTin?
I know you have…they are everywhere.
You may not know it, but my dog is featured in the movie.
In the movie, TinTin and his dog Snowy take you on Adventures. (like the title tells you – duh)
Here is Snowy
Look familiar anyone?
How about my sweet pup Bo.
Let me show you again.
Snowy…
And a sleepy Bo who is less than thrilled about pictures.
White? Check. Point ears that flip in various directions? Check. Oversized black nose? Check. Knub tail? Check. Velvety groomed coat? Check. Beard? Check. Soulful brown eyes? Check.
They stole my dog and animated him behind my back.
Where is my royalty check?
These Are the Days
These are the days that I miss her.
We are doing just fine as a family of four and settling in to our new routine. However, just as I thought of mom more during this pregnancy I have missed her more during this birth and homecoming. Colter and I chose with Caden to not have people come and stay with us as we like to settle in alone and see what we need to do etc. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t think of what she would have helped with every single day though. I often hear of friends who have their mothers stay for the first week(s) to well, just be there. So naturally in these first couple weeks home with another new baby that she won’t know with oodles of things to do, I have missed her.
This time, it was even easier to see where she would have fit in around the house as Caden was adjusting, and I was/am recovering/healing and Everett is becoming aclimated to non-womb living. As I watched Colter wrestle and rough house with Caden I could see her doing laundry even though we would ask her not to, picking up some new comfy PJs for me
just because she would want me to feel taken care of too and snuggling her grandbabies whenever she got the chance.
Selfishly, I also know that in her head she would have a shopping trip planned out in the coming months to replenish my wardrobe that hasn’t been renewed since I was pregnant with Caden really. You know, just a few things to spruce up the closet that actually do fit instead of the constant piecing together of in between sizes. Just one of those things many moms & daughters do together is all.
My mom had an amazing ability to be extremely useful without overstepping. She accomplished massive tasks without getting in the way, interfering with schedules or well…making herself known. She would have been so helpful and so supportive as we brought the newest member of our family home.
As my hormones hit an all time peak in the days after Everett’ s birthday I have missed her. What is interesting is that you can miss someone in a role you never knew them in. My mom never got to meet her grandchildren yet I know exactly the kind of grandmother she would have been. At least I think I do.
She would have loved to see Caden snuggling his baby brother and giving him sweet pats.
She would have loved to kiss these precious cheeks.
I am so blessed with a precious, healthy family. I am very fortunate to have very loving and involved in laws to be there for me and grandparents to my kiddos. I am so thankful for an extremely hands-on supportive husband and daddy to my boys.
We are doing wonderfully, but I do miss her and that in all truthfulness, I am kind of tired of.
Ringing in 27
This past Saturday I officially rang in year 27 (another reason why Baby E can now make his appearance any time he so chooses) and I think it was one of the most perfect birthday celebrations I have ever had. A couple weeks ago I called my mother in law and asked if she thought it would be okay if we celebrated my birthday with them at their house.
Yes, you read right.
I asked to spend my birthday with my in laws.
In fact, I didn’t even clear it with my husband prior to making the arrangements or ask if he had made other plans. (Naturally he loves to say how he had to cancel the limo & fancy restaurant because of this.) I know my mother in law partially thinks it is because I am so dang pregnant and didn’t want to have to go out so to speak, but I kept telling her it was really because spending the evening with her, my father in law, the hubs and Mr. Caden sounded like the perfect list of guests to me.
I am very fortunate. I don’t have “in-law” stories like so many of you. My in-laws have been a part of my life for roughly 11 years now and in the last eight years I would say they have been in the very top tier of my biggest supporters and really, caretakers. When my parents moved to Florida I would come home from college and stay with them at
times…even when Colter wasn’t with me. When my mom passed away I was at their house and they were among the first to for lack of a different truth, just hold me. My in laws are my family through and through and now in an even more special role, they are Caden’s Nonna and Pa Pa.
Caden LOVES his Nonna and PaPa. Loves them. He applauds when we pull into their driveway. He grins from ear to ear as he scurries up their sidewalk to the front door leaving us behind them. He immediately reaches up for hugs when he sees them. He is more upset when they leave a room than when we do. I already see Caden cherishing them like I did my grandparents. It is very special and very sweet.
Soooooooooooooo, I wanted to spend my birthday with them. Carolyn went all out with an unbelievably delicious dinner complete with her homemade chocolate birthday cake. I ate quite the birthday meal, but just for Baby E. They even had beautiful fall birthday hydrangeas for me which she may or may not know are my favorite flower.
There was playtime outside, good food, even better company and a happy boy who cheered on the Rangers after dinner with us allowing everyone to visit a little longer.
With birthday calls from friends far and near, cards in the mail from sweet friends and generous gifts that were not expected it was a wonderful day. Yoga in the morning, getting to meet a precious Graham Fenner, their newest addition, relaxing, celebrating, the Rangers winning and heading to the World Series and getting to play with a new iPad (thank you hubs) it was a wonderful way to kick off another year. I couldn’t help but look around at my husband, son, the family around me and feel Baby E getting comfy in my belly and not feel so content and at peace in my blessings.
Happy Birthday to Me!
Pumpkin Peek
I Had a Craving This Morning and It Had to Be Filled
My sister in law invited Caden and I to the Arboretum with her playgroup on the 17th so long as I hadn’t had Baby #2 yet. Perfect timing, we go see the pumpkins there each year, sounds like a plan.
Then I got to thinking…but what if I do have this baby?
What if I have this baby and Caden never gets to see pumpkins this year?
Surely he will be scarred for life.
Mother’s guilt?
Therefore my mind could only think of one thing…pumpkins.
I needed them. I had to have them. (For him of course)
So we had an impromptu trip to the Arboretum this morning just in case Baby Kaz II makes his debut before then.
Here is a little sneak peek for you.
Phew! I saved my son’s childhood.
All in a day’s work.
Octoberfest
Oh October, How I Love Thee…
The month of birthday, babies and baking.
Oh My!
Such Potential
This past weekend had such potential.
Friday evening we decided we would take our little family of three out for dinner at one of the many restaurants at the Rockwall Harbor. The weather was perfect, the patios are abundant and their are numerous fountains to entertain our little man. It had actually been awhile since we had gone out to eat the three of us mainly due to weighing the pros & cons of taking a toddler to dinner. It isn’t that he is so terrible always but he obviously doesn’t want to sit forever and when you spend a lot of your mealtime giving him things to eat and making sure he sees the things that will entertain him you lose that whole “isn’t it relaxing to just talk & not worry about cooking/cleaning ourselves” feeling. However, we lucked out. He was thrilled. (Patios are a must with him.) He happily ate what we gave him, drank our water with the “big boy straws” and was content seeing the fountains and people watching (aren’t we all). I drooled over my husband’s margarita but was content watching our little family enjoy the evening.
After dinner Caden ran and ran and ran around the harbor, grass, and fountains so pleased to have open space and two doting parents watching him. For the first time in this pregnancy believe it or not I found myself realizing how our days as a family of three are numbered and it was just so pleasant to witness us all together on what did feel like a perfect fall evening. It was one of the best evenings I had in awhile and the perfect start to our weekend.
Being this pregnant…and my” this pregnant” I mean that strangers get nervous around me now as if I might go into labor
right then instead of thinking its cute I was fortunate enough to enjoy a Saturday morning/afternoon to myself thanks to my hair appointment backing up to my usual Saturday morning yoga class. I do miss my boys and family time on the weekend when I am not with them but I know it is nice for them to play without me hovering too. So I spent Saturday continuing to be excited for Sunday. Why Sunday? I decided that it would be nice to have some “final family of three” pictures of taken prior to Baby Kaz II’s arrival to mark this period in our life and document both for Caden and Baby Kaz II what this family looked like right before he came. Since I very well can’t take and be in the pictures at the same time I enlisted some help.
A sweet, sweet former dance team-mate and friend from high school has recently been working to kick off her photography business and while I love supporting those that are trying something new as I have done that for myself I thought it was a perfect match. She so kindly worked out with me doing two separate sessions, one now and then one after the baby comes to mark our new family of four. Fortunately we live pretty close to each other and made all of the arrangements to meet. As you can tell from the pictures you often see Caden isn’t particularly camera shy and loves being outside. What could go wrong?
He slept in…he ate a great breakfast…and we left for the pictures so pleased that we were having a good morning because he was going to be SO happy to be outside. Something must have gone terribly wrong in his head in the car on the way to pictures because about 30 seconds after we got out of the car and started pictures he started crying…and whining…and screaming…and throwing himself around…and running away…and having none of it. NONE. OF. IT.
Maybe it was the location we thought. In the middle of some adorable shops & scenery was maybe too much for him to look at and want to get to right? (We were going with any reason.) So, we went ahead and moved to our second location – the park. I mean come on…it’s a park. We live at the park. He loves the park.
So, he was furious the whole way to the park and as we were getting out I then realized that on the drive to the park his sippy cup had been steadily leaking all down the side of my jeans. Awesome. Colter said it would keep me cool. I said people were going to think my water had broke. Caden didn’t care. Sweet Ashley (yes I said sweet again) who is pregnant with her first baby (who I am sure we were traumatizing) even brought Caden a little pumpkin to hold and play with. Sweet right? He threw it. We stood by a great fence with a gorgeous field where he would typically love to stand/sit on the fence as we were trying. He just wanted to crawl under it – while screaming. Then he high-tailed it for the pond.
The best part? Hubs and I look like complete morons. We were at a total loss. Having never seen him react quite like this to well…nothing we had nothing in our arsenal of ideas of how to cure him. The usual distractions? Could have cared less. Snack? Sure…for the ground. Us holding him (a for sure win)? He hit is. HIT US! There is Ashley trying to get some “final family of three” pictures and we look like we should never have had one kid let along about to have another.
I will say this. Maybe pictures of a cranky for no reason kiddo with his confused parents desperate to please and survive the outing is exactly the documentation of this time that we need. We called it quits exhausted and disappointed that of all mornings to have a colossal toddler meltdown it was picture morning and for once we had nothing (teeth/hungry/didn’t sleep/needs nap) to blame it on except his age and frustration. We tried. He tried. Then we all cried and went home. Okay, Caden cried.
The weekend started off with such potential and ended with a morning that wiped us out for the day.
The little man didn’t want to do anything with anything or anyone and that was that.
At least he is decisive.
Thanks Ashley for being so patient with us and still managing to pull out some memorable pictures!
(I’m sure the really cranky pictures & outtakes are even more memorable for everyone)
Mommy Sick Day
When I think of staying at home with my munchkin I feel blessed to have the opportunity to spend these years with him (soon to be them). However, I must say that I would so very much like to have some “Mommy Sick Days” allotted into my benefits. You know something where you wake up and know that you probably aren’t too capable of caring for yourself let alone a tiny human that day so a magic “Stay at Home Mom – Mommy Sick Day Fairy” who is more than qualified shows up to make you soup and entertain your child at the same time.
Mary Poppins perhaps?
(minus all the dangerous flying stunts and spoonfuls of straight sugar)
Oh I see…you think I am being unreasonable.
While this isn’t the first time I wished for this fairy, it all started Saturday. We attended a beautiful wedding and as the evening progressed noticed that Caden’s nose was running. He proceeded to dance his pants off on the dance floor all until he tripped and faceplanted (literally) splitting open his top lip. That made him realize that not only did his lip hurt but that he was quite tired as it was past bedtime. As we were heading home he seemed to be sounding a bit more congested, I on the other hand only felt the soreness of my feet. If only I knew what was to come.
Poor little man had the full blown head cold/congestion/snot fountain move in over night and woke up every hour to cry (with his eyes closed still more or less sleeping) as he felt worse and worse. The hubs and I woke up with each of these cries as well assessing what was going on. As each hour woke us I kept thinking “Man, my throat hurts.” Strange. Yeah, strange until about the fourth time I said that and then the rest hit. I think I have been sneezing, and weak and blowing my nose ever since.
Yesterday the two of us were a pathetic mess. I became more pathetic when my sweet angel baby of a son launched his
full sippy cup at my face with a major league style pitch busting my nose. No I wasn’t looking (cheap shot) not that my stellar catching skills would have done much doone anyway. I burst into tears, he burst into tears, the hubs didn’t know who to tend to first. We have since decided that there surely is a crack on the right side of my nose since it hasn’t’ stopped throbbing and crunches when I blow my nose. Yes…I said blow my cracked nose. Remember? Snot fountain. So now, I can’t tell if my face hurts so bad because of sinus pressure/infection or because I am having to blow a broken nose every two minutes.
Don’t worry, I won’t be finding out an answer because in case you have forgotten, I’m pregnant.
So…I won’t be going to the doc to be put on any antibiotics that “should” be safe nor will my face be getting an x-ray.
(I mean…they can’t do anything anyway other than give me one of those cool nose pads.)
So here in a couple years when I am getting a nose job because of my son’s superb pitching skills I will tell you “No, it isn’t cosmetic at all it is because my son busted my nose a couple years back and it just hasn’t been the same since.” You will judge me and then I will re-post this as proof and although sure it will be cosmetic I will always have the excuse. Come one, I’m trying to find the silver lining, work with me.
I have digressed. Last night I did not sleep. When I would get close to sleep the snot that was streaming towards my mouth out of one nostril would make me roll over (a true physical test these days) to find a Kleenex, wipe/blow the busted nose, wince and become more aware that the other nostril is completely plugged. Add in sneezing fits of 6-10 sneezes in a row (that make me feel as if I might birth this child by sneezing), the nagging cough, the “please don’t swallow it hurts” throat a throbbing face and oh yes, the fact that I am 8 months pregnant and have a hard enough time sleeping as it is. Therefore, as I said, last night I did not sleep.
In fact at 5 a.m. I decided I had tried long enough and spent the next 30 minutes sitting on the floor of a steaming shower. If only it had helped. My sweet hubs offered to stay home and wanted to to help, but I am banking on those days for when Baby #2 arrives so I wouldn’t let him. Instead, I am sitting here waiting for my certified Mary Poppins to show up and rescue us…and wipe our noses. Okay, just Caden’s nose.
He coughs I cough.
I wipe his nose while I am blowing mine.
He lays on my belly, brother kicks him.
We croak through “Brown Bear, Brown Bear” four million times.
He points to the back door and says “Go”. I say “No”.
He cries. I cry.
Mommy Sick Day anyone?
If you see a strange lady flying through the air by umbrella send her my way please.