I Take it Back – Kind Of

I think I owe you an apology.

After giving you a internet hand-slap the other day during my grumpfest I felt a little bad.  I get it, you are excited about Baby Kaz II (as are we) and the only way you really have to display that is by checking in on us.  I get it I do…as with anything though it can get tiring repeating yourself.

So, I am sorry I revoked your checking in privileges.
I’m not sure that I am necessarily reinstating them persay, but I am sorry.
(Rumor has it you are now calling each other to say “have you heard anything”)

You see, I am not actually that grumpy.  Sure, I am uncomfortable and all of that mess that one could complain about but if this little man needs more time to be big and strong and healthy – so be it!  Actually in addition to the fact that being pregnant and childbirth is such a miraculous experience there are a couple of things in particular that I just love about it.  Both have to do with the lack of control we have with this.  The first is gender.  Colter and I have never had a “gender preference” if you will.  We both love that we have no real say in the matter and that we are given what is supposed to fit our family.  The second part that is so mystifying is the birthday.  When they are ready, they come.  In a world of calendars and schedules it is nice to be reminded that we can’t choose everything and be 100% prepared.

Now, the grump fest came from a difference in experience that I had to make peace with weeks ago.  With Caden I truly felt he was going to be early but had no real expectations. (Although through my whole pregnancy I mentally prepared for him to be late since he was my first.) I wasn’t exactly sure what I was waiting on (water breaking, contractions etc) and had nothing to compare it to.  This time from very early on it seems the “waiting” began.  Partially because I have been having contractions and other signs for months and partially because I already had one to experience to base some things on.  I have always said that due dates are such a “pardon my French” crapshoot.  In our opinion anything approximately two weeks before or after that date they give you is on time.

Today I sit here somewhat proud based on how this pregnancy has gone that we actually made it to November, the month of his original due date.  Caden, my supposed March baby became a February baby which for some reason was very hard for me to grasp at first! (How do you like my view when I look down?)

The hand-slap came in when I was having a harder time tuning others out.  Usually, I am really good at this (now you know) and staying focused on our plans/goals/opinions etc.  However, getting it from all angles (friends, doctors, family, strangers, neighbors) was making me need to go into hiding to refocus and re-center.  Why?  We do things as naturally as possible around here and in order for that to happen I have to remain as relaxed and focused as possible.  That also means that I have to sometimes decide what is and is not helping and make an adjustment. So I did. Sorry.

I am so appreciative of all the excitement and support.  Colter and I often talk about how much we love that our friends and friends that are like family are so involved in our kids lives (as well as ours).  You are waiting just like us and while I can’t tell you when he will come, I can tell you that you will be informed.  This I know for sure.

To appease you, I have a little bit of an update but no sono to show.  My doctor is quite shocked that he is not here. (not helpful doc)  In fact, she said that the only thing that is truly keeping me pregnant is this baby boy. (Poor thing is probably afraid of the judo-chops to the belly he gets from his big brother and wants to stay nice and cushioned.) Yes, I have continued to progress on my own quite steadily. I am actually almost as “far along” in my progression as I was when we ended up going to the hospital to have Caden (had already been laboring at home for 11 hours at that point).  So here is to hoping that this labor is at least even 30 minutes shorter than the 31 hours I was blessed with for him.  Regardless, he was healthy I was fine and I will take it if that is the way it needs to be again.

I swear I am not that grumpy though unless the hormones attack. Yes I want to meet him but when he is ready.

So we wait and in the meantime keep as busy as my waddle can keep up with.
In the meantime you can check out Baby E’s “nest” which I find to be one of the most peaceful places in our home.