I Think This Is Happening – The Conclusion

Posted by casey on September 7, 2009 in For Your Funny Bone, Friends, Home, Uncategorized |

Honest, I didn’t plan on there being so many parts but well, it was just too good to leave anything out because it seems made up when it was just our night last night.  Again, if you are thinking I am off my rocker and starting in the middle of a thought, I kind of am, but it is really because you must have missed out on Part One or even Part Two of our adventure in police work.

The High-Speed Chase through Plano has come to an abrupt halt out front of an apartment complex. Dallas Douchebag’s vehicle and his female accomplice have pulled into a driveway entrance to the complex and we came to a sudden stop a good distance from them in the right hand lane.  Inside the car it sounds something like this…

Me: Ohhhh….ummmmm.
Mark: Uhhhhhhh…
Leah: They are stopping! They are stopping! They Have Stopped!!!!
Emily: Eeeeeeee…..uhhhhhh
Mark: Do we go? Do we follow?
All of Us Including Mark Answering His Own Question: NO! No way. Not behind an apartment gate.
Everyone: Ummmmmmm
911 Operator: Ummmmmmmm
Me: Welll???
Operator: Stay right there, look for the car. There are 4 entrance/exits so you can watch those, the police are on their way.

Mark continues to circle the complex looking for the car after they blocked the gate they entered so we couldn’t follow them without ramming their car anyway.  I am thinking that this “enter choice name here” was gutsy enough to walk into a wedding reception to steal purses and come back for a car so I don’t really want to find out what else he is gutsy enough to do.  Yes, it took a high speed police chase minus the police part for the Voice of Reason to click in, and No, the 911 Operator never once encouraged us to stop the chase.  I think he was getting an adrenaline rush himself…I was waiting for him to call out commands.

Here comes the calvary! (I personally prefer “Eye of the Tiger” to background music for this section but you may have a different choice) In roles three different police SUVs into the apartment complext with another behind us.  I must say, the operator did a wonderful job relaying all of the info because we didn’t have to re-tell too much.  We decided that we have been watching too many crime shows…no, not because we didn’t think twice about our own chase but because Leah, who is so observant notices that no one had gone in the apartment gate since the “suspect’s” SUV went in.  Why is this key?  Well, Leah decided that we should tell the complex to figure out what the last code or apartment # entered was and bust them! Unfortunately, apartment complex’s, even really nice ones like this, don’t seem to be too up on their technology.  Epic fail there.  Great idea though…CSI should hire us.

While the cops are hunting through the complex and we are thinking that surely they are hiding in a garage or have vanished through a different exit, Mark takes the time to note this observation to his wife.
Mark: “Hey, you know what?  I bet when that cop first came up and looked in the car, he was like, ‘Hey, how did that guy get three dressed up chicks in his car?'”
Mark, first thank you for being Mario Andretti.  I am so happy that your driving skills could be rewarded with an ego boost for looking like a pimp daddy.

Bad news kids.  No luck with the apartment complex….instead we then got a police escort back to the venue for him to talk to Colter, “Paul Blart – Hotel Cop”, look at their video surveillance and you know the works.  The cop wanted to follow us to the hotel.  We made it about a block before we had to admit that in the middle of following Dallas Douchebag in our chase, we had gotten a bit turned around.  So we pulled over, informed the cop we had no idea where we were and asked if we could actually follow him.  Poor Colter who was left out of the COPS episode….if only we had a video camera with us…is standing and waiting with Hotel Cop.

Since I am still in fact pregnant, I have to pee unbelievably bad at this point and leave them to chat.  The lady at the hotel front desk is so worked up with all of the “excitement” that she informs us we should have just shot at the people.  “Oh of course, why didn’t I think of that? Next time I will remember to pull out the gun I’m illegally packing to illegally fire at criminal strangers inside a No Firing zone.”  Thank you for the advice….that was a much better solution.

So there we are, stuck filling out paper-work while Real Cop is stuck with Hotel Cop and is putting the pieces together.  This brings us to the only picture of the night which Mark took just so he could take a minute and update his twitter status.  This would be Emily and I, and the title you ask? Fancy Dresses and Police Reports


The front desk offers to hide our car in the loading dock and block it in with a van so it can’t be stolen.  They just want us to give them the keys so they can move it there.  The keys…that were stolen…and then used to take the car.  The keys that if we had we would be home sleeping instead of still here.  I think the hotel people and the credit card people should get together. I’m just saying…

So we finish the paperwork, get our more or less worthless incident number and Hotel Cop guarantees that he is going to protect our car while we go home to get the key. (yes, we still have to do that part).  In fact, he tells us that he is going to move his personal car in front of it and box it in.  We all agreed that he most likely wasn’t going to do that.  Regardless, at 2:30 a.m. post purse snatching, car stealing, and high speed chase the McDonoughs are chauffering us all home since they are still the only one with a car.  We get to the house to get the spare key so we can drive back out there and bring home the poor vehicle!  Are you ready for the kicker???

After arriving home, we realize that my spare key is inside of a purse that is currently located inside of my trunk!

Seriously? Yes….seriously. Roadside assitance? Yes please.  Awesome? I think not. 

The conclusion…Emily shacked at Leah and Mark’s, Roadside Assistance unlocked our car…Paul Blart Hotel Cop did have his crew staked out in their cars around ours to watch the car…they were shocked when all of the sudden some guy is trying to bust in with a Slim Jim (Roadside Assistance) and we arrived home almost 6 hours after initially going to leave when we realized our purses were gone and the “Is This Really Happening?” saga began.  Today we are short our phones, Emily will be receiving hers in 5-7 business days, credit cards…again 5-7 business days and debit cards….you guessed it, 5-7 business days.  I have searched the house for an old phone to try to utilize (I’ll let you know how that goes) since shelling out $500 bucks for a replacement isn’t currently in my budget and we will each be paying a few hundred dollars for replacement keys to our cars.  I know you are disappointed that it didn’t end with me jumping on Dallas Douchebag’s back in a hormonal rage bringing him down until the cops arrived to find all of our belongings and haul his  rear to jail, but at least you laughed until now.  We are slowly starting to laugh as well, even though we are still in a really bad place about all of this and yes, I know at least we have our health…and my car…and we got to participate in a high speed chase.  How was your long weekend?

Sing it Now….”Huh, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna, Whatcha Gonna, Whatcha Gonna Do!”


  • Em says:

    Two words: bad place.

  • Whit says:

    ahh Casey, that sucks that all that happened..I was just telling Valerie I was going to text you but I see I can’t atm. Congrats on being pregnant! I am very thankful all of you are safe..it just sucks you couldn’t get your belongings back. But atleast now you can say you have been to a wedding that was like no other, lol?

  • Jessica says:

    Well it certainly made for a fun read! Glad everyone is okay.

  • Shannon says:

    all i can say is wow. and yes leah, if you are reading this, that means 2 finger “w’s” on either side of my open mouth.

  • Holly says:

    Ah, that’s such a crazy story, Casey! I’m so sorry it happened to you, but you definitely held my attention with the 3 installments.

  • Had me coming back for more!

  • Dana says:

    You thoroughly entertained the 20 or so Dallasites at the pool bar in Playa!

  • Gloria says:

    Thank God you all are ok and that hotel cop kept his word in watching your car. I’m glad you didn’t have your driver’s license in the purse; otherwise, the (fill in the blank) would have found the car at home….YIKES! He’d be stupid to go there I know but hey never underestimate stupid.

  • meme Carolyn says:

    Just note that as a good grandmother I still pray for your saftey. Did you get your purse back?

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